


Take Me to the Sea

by granjcltaire



Category: In the Flesh (TV)
Genre: Beach House, Beach Sex, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Simon grows a beard, Siren, and there's smut, initially they're still PDS but turn eventually human, they can feel again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-16
Updated: 2014-09-16
Packaged: 2018-02-17 15:19:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 22,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2314217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/granjcltaire/pseuds/granjcltaire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"AU where Kieren and Simon go away and buy a beach house and Simon grows a beard and they have tons of sex and they cuddle under the stars and everyone's happy"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. i bet you look good with a beard

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is the offspring of the really helpful prompt from my amazing friend katxbishop on tumblr. I hope I did it justice :3
> 
> I originally uploaded this work on fanfiction.net, but then decided to upload it here as well. *trying to adjust to AO3* Hope you liked this first chapter ^^ smut is just around the corner...

Kieren sat on his bed, mindlessly watching the ceiling. It had been a long day with Amy and Philip’s wedding, the after-party and all the new changes.

“Do you think she’s completely human now?” He was thrilled for Amy – she always talked about weddings and glorious romantic trips. But he couldn’t bring himself to stop worrying.

“The doctors said so.” Simon sat next to Kieren, admiring all his new drawings and paintings – mostly portraits of Simon, Amy and Philip and a small drawing of Jem. He was really good. “How’s the trembling?”

“Worse.” Kieren stretched his arm over his head, observing it in the pale light. “Amy said this was her first symptom before all the other changes.” His stomach got assaulted by a nauseating feeling – like the one he’d get if he’d eat or drink something.

“That’s a good sign.” Simon turned to look at him. His eyes were sparkling with affection and the usual Simon-y mysticism. He was definitely trying his best to be ‘normal’, for Kieren, but his years with the Undead Prophet left a deep influence on his character. Kieren shivered. The thought of being human again was overwhelming. He never expected something like that to happen, and he was completely taken aback when Amy turned up to his doorstep with a. a pulse, b. warm skin, c. killer appetite. He wasn’t sure how exactly to react. It’s not like there was a “How to handle coming back as a PDS then eventually becoming human” manual – not yet, anyways; TPTB were very creative nowadays.

“Where would you like to go?” Simon broke the deafening silence.

“What?” Kieren’s gaze moved back to the oh-so-fascinating ceiling.

“Once you’re human again you can visit every place you wish, not only the ‘PDS-friendly’ ones.” Simon’s hand fumbled around the sheets until it found Kieren’s. He squeezed it gently, trying to assure Kieren that he was there for him.

“France was nice.” Kieren smiled, finally turning his head and looking at the other man. “You were nice.” The ghost of a smile lingered over Simon’s lips as he remembered their weeks in Paris. Kieren shrugged. “I don’t know. Is it weird that I’ve never been to the sea before? Not that I could in my ‘treated state’ anyways, since it wasn’t PDS-friendly.” He thought about the waves crushing mildly into his sun-heated skin, the tide moving the hot sand under his feet, the scent of salt, sizzling summer air and ice-cream; Simon grumpily sitting in the protective shade of their beach-house front porch, refusing to sit in the sun because it diminished his mysticism. Kieren chuckled. “Yeah, I would definitely love to visit the sea.”

Simon pursed his lips in an approving gesture. “The sea is nice. Any particular sea you have in mind?”

“It doesn’t matter as long as you’re with me.” As sappy as it sounded, Kieren was happy with his remark. He stretched his neck, finding Simon’s pouty lips. The kiss was chaste and quick, a mere peck, but it was enough to bring the biggest grin on Simon’s face.

“Alright.” Simon stood up on his elbows, gently grabbing Kieren’s shoulders and pinning him down to the mattress. He moved quickly, claiming his lover’s lips in a long and passionate kiss. In his _PDS sufferer treated state_ he couldn’t feel anything and that kept saddening him. He wanted to feel Kieren’s touch so badly. He wanted to know how Kieren’s kisses felt, how his caress would affect his skin, or how only thinking about him would make his stomach shrink and heart skip a beat. But he couldn’t – not _yet_.

“Mmhmmh” Kieren tried to pull away from the kiss before it got too intense. Simon stood up. “My parents are in the next room.”

Simon dropped to his back, chuckling sadly. “It’s not like we would be too noisy.” He pinched Kieren’s arm as hard as he could to prove his point. “We don’t feel anything.”

Kieren shook away his fingers. “I know. That’s why I- oh don’t give me that sappy look.” Simon was watching him with big dreamy eyes. “I want to feel it- you. And-and if this is really us turning back into humans” he lifted his shaking hand so Simon could see it. “- then I want to wait a little while longer.”

“Okay.” Simon shot him a loving smile. “I should go.”

Kieren looked at the clock, mindlessly discarded on the floor amongst his formal clothes; it was a little after 3 a.m. “Will you be alright walking alone this late?”

“What could possibly happen?” Seeing Kieren’s frown, Simon regretted saying that. “I’ll be fine. I promise.” After all they both have been through – or after what all _three_ of them have been through – he had to know that this was a sensible subject. “I’ll see you at breakfast.”

“That’s around 1 in the afternoon right?” Kieren handed Simon his coat, smiling again.

“Sure. Get some sleep.” Simon cupped his lover’s face, kissing him goodnight.

After Simon closed the door behind him, Kieren let himself fall into the bed. He was exhausted – all the worrying, happiness and future-planning would have that effect on everyone. He closed his eyes and the relentless wings of sweet sleep cloaked him in peaceful dreams of a bright and careless future.

 

xXx

 

“There, he’s awake.” Kieren walked down the stairs with shaky feet. The whole process of re-humanization – or whatever it was – affected him considerably. His father smiled in his direction, leading him to the kitchen where his mother and Simon were already seated around the table.

“Good morning, sleepyhead.” His mother smiled affectionately before disappearing into the kitchen.

Kieren’s eyes stopped on Simon. He was infinitely grateful he was there. “I hope you slept well?” Simon sent his charming smile in his direction.

“Yeah. I dozed off right after you left.” He sat down on the chair next to Simon.

“And when was that?” Steve raised his brows questioningly, passively pressing them to answer.

“It was Amy’s wedding, luv!” Sue waltzed into the dining room with a tray of food, breaking the awkward moment. “They celebrated and had a good time, that’s what’s important.”

Kieren smiled innocently, watching as his father dropped the subject in favor of the crunchy bacon and eggs.

“So how was it – the party?” Sue took a hearty sip of tea.

“It was nice. Amy was very happy to leave on her honeymoon.” Kieren chuckled.

“Ah, where’d they go?” Steve asked, between bites.

“Ireland, then France and Netherlands. Amy loves trips.” Simon was feeling more at ease now among the Walkers. He had been offered a warm welcome since day one, but now they all got to know each other better, and after the rabid-Kieren incident, their gratitude was not only visible, but also tangible. They made him feel part of the family.

“That’s nice.” Steve looked at Sue. He always did that, whether to seek her approval or observe her reaction, Kieren wasn’t sure.

Sue smiled. She picked the kettle and poured her husband some tea. “What about you Keir? Do you have any travel plans, luv?”

Kieren shrugged his shoulders. “Not really.”

Simon leaned towards the table, turning his head and watching Kieren as he spoke. “Actually, we have a plane for Devon tomorrow.” He smiled nonchalantly as he watched the Walkers stop eating and stare at him.

“What- We have?” Kieren frowned, a little confused, but still unable to control the smile that haunted his pale lips.

“That’s wonderful news, son.” Steve looked at his wife – the usual reaction. It was obvious they were deeply in love, and Simon wished something like that for Kieren and him – hence the _trip._

 “I heard it’s wonderful this time of the year.” Sue reached her hand for Kieren’s, giving it a little reassuring squeeze.

Steve pointed the fork excitedly towards hid son. “Yeah, lots of water too.”

“Water – around an island? Amazing.” Kieren, as surprised as he was, couldn’t help it. Sarcasm was his best defense mechanism – something he couldn’t get rid off from his days with Rick.

“Oi, you know what I mean, young man.” His father tried to look intimidating – he still had to work on that.

After breakfast, Kieren took Simon’s hand and dragged him in his room.

“When did you decide we’re going to Devon?” As soon as he closed the door behind them, Kieren cornered Simon with his back to the wall.

Simon was calm – as per usual – sending his loving, charming smile in Kieren’s direction. “Last night, after you told me how you’ve never seen the sea. I called the airline agency this morning.”For a moment Kieren was breathless, frozen in place. With a swift movement he closed the small distance between him and the taller man. The kiss was short but full of obvious affection. When he took a step back, Kieren had a huge grin on his lips, making him look – now more than ever – like an adorable puppy.

“Thanks.” Kieren said as Simon took his hands in his, caressing them with his thumbs. “We should look for PDS-friendly B&Bs and-”

“I already took care of that.” Simon pulled Kieren in his arms, kissing him.

Kieren pulled back, just like the night – well, morning – before. He whispered. “We’ll have enough time for it in Devon.” Simon nodded, already eager at the thought of Devon – more accurately: at the thought of what they’ll do in Devon. He hoped that Kieren’s humanization process would be completed while there, so they could enjoy every aspect of being alive.

“Help me pack?” Kieren opened the closet door. “The bag’s under the bed.”

Simon pulled out the bag, placing it on the bed. “What are your plans for Devon?”

Kieren smiled. He was rummaging through his closet. “It’s going to be warm…” He took out a few clothes and folded them, neatly placing them in the bag. “How long are we staying?”

“As long as you wish.” Simon leaned against the headboard of the bed, watching Kieren. “It’s a one-way ticket.”

Kieren nodded. That was an extremely thrilling idea. He took more clothes and examined them. It was summer, so there was no need to take all those sweaters. Although, sweaters were the most appropriate thing to wear in summer around his parts. “I want to spend a long time on the beach – star-gazing, I don’t know. But I guess it doesn’t really matter? As long as I’m with you.” That came out really corny, again, but it was the most honest thought he could form into sentence at the moment.

Simon’s face lit up. “I’m-”

“Wait -” Kieren caught the other man’s gaze questioningly. “You said you already planned everything. When did you find the time? Did you sleep?”

“I wasn’t tired.” Simon held his gaze, the smile still embed in his pale skin.

With a sigh, Kieren went back to packing. “I suppose you packed too?”

“I did.” A rather smug smile appeared on Simon’s lips.

Kieren shook his head, chuckling softly. “You’re amazing Simon Monroe.” 

After almost two hours, a lot of swearing and panicking, Kieren finished packing. Their work at the hospital – the echo of the former PDS _Give Back_ law (which was soon to disappear and was still around just to mask the actual incompetence of the powers that be) – ended around noon so they just hanged out together. It was getting late and the sun was ready to sink behind the horizon. They were following the main road, without any destination in mind. They spoke about the sea and reminisced about Paris (“I told you those clown mannequins were not a metaphor for PDS sufferers. It was a theme park. And they kicked us out, for crying out loud!”) until they reached the empty amusement park.

“I came here with Amy the first day we officially met.” Kieren smiled. The place was deserted and in dire need of someone to take care of it.

“Why is it abandoned?” Simon looked around. It was the kind of place perfect for a horror movie: abandoned game booths, spooky merry-go-rounds and weeds all over the place, covered in the rusty-gold rays of the summer sun.

“The owner is a PDS sufferer. With the whole Maxine-Second-Rising crap he decided to leave.” Kieren led them to the big panoramic wheel where they sat down.

“It’s a shame.” Simon meant it. Roarton could have used a little distraction from all the drama.

“Yeah.” They sat in companionable silence for a while, fingers entwined in an affectionate grip. Eventually Kieren broke the silence. “So you used to have a beard?” He watched Simon with squinty eyes. Trying to imagine him in anything else than a fugly sweater and neatly parted hairdo turned out to be rather hard – especially when the image of him naked and sprawled on a bed kept stabbing his mental eyes.

“Well, I was high most of the time. I didn’t exactly have time to shave.”

Kieren burst out in a fickle laughter.

“What?” Simon tilted his head.

“Nothing. Just that – don’t shave.” Simon lifted his brows questioningly, a big smile on his face. Kieren punched him playfully in the arm. “I mean, after the humanization process starts.”

“You’re so sure it will start for me too?” Simon wasn’t smiling anymore and Kieren wanted to bite his tongue – not that he’d feel that anyway.

“Of course it will. You heard the doctors. They said that all our tests show the same science-y results like Amy’s. I’m already showing the symptoms… For the first time in a very long time I’m confident in this – whatever this is. I know everything’s going to be fine.”

Simon nodded. “Okay.” To his ears and partially deceased brain, everything Kieren said was pure gold. He couldn’t find it in him to disapprove or say otherwise. “Okay.” He bumped his shoulder in Kieren’s, trying to deal with the painful subject jocularly. “I promise I’ll grow a beard.”

Kieren rolled his eyes. “Fuck off.” He stood up, his hand in Simon’s. “We should head home. Tomorrow’s a big day. Want to come over for dinner?”

“Nah, I should get some rest. We both should.” Once they reached the main road again they stopped. Pulling Kieren to his chest, he enclosed him in a gentle hug, kissing his forehead, cheek and eventually lips. “Goodnight!”

“Goodnight.” The blond lingered in the other man’s embrace for a moment before letting go.

With hurried steps Kieren made his way back home; dinner was almost ready and he didn’t want his parents to worry about him – never again.

 

xXx

 

It was around 10 pm when Kieren decided it was time to sleep, and about midnight when he understood that there was no chance for him to _actually_ fall asleep. He was too excited. All he could think throughout dinner was Simon – Simon in a bathing suit; Simon with a beard, Simon naked sprawled on a bed – and the hypnotizing atmosphere of the sea. Deciding that any attempt at trying to fall asleep was futile, Kieren turned on the light. If those images were the ones keeping him awake, he should at least put them on paper. With lazy steps he walked to his desk. Paper, pencil, and eraser he searched them in the disarray on the desk, pushing all the other drawings aside to make some space. His hands had been shaking all week, but now they were surprisingly steady, so putting his thoughts into shape came rather easy. With confident lines, Kieren drew the rough shape of a torso, strong legs, muscular arms and intimidating jaw, adding muscles, shadows and details. He couldn’t help himself but draw a beard for his nsfw-Simon, ruffled hair and too many details to his muscles face and cock. Muffling his chuckles, Kieren hid his drawing in his bag. That wasn’t exactly a family-friendly drawing.

At last, the heavy waves of sleep finally washed over him, and Kieren fell on his bed, cuddling the sheets and pillow. He was at peace. It took him long to accept, but things were indeed alright: Amy wasn’t dead anymore – thanks to the weird Second Rising that was actually PDS sufferers becoming humans again – Simon wasn’t away heaven’s know where, following a mad Undead Prophet, and Jem was on her way to better – getting help in a safe and positive environment (away from Gary and Roarton). Everything was fine, and Kieren Walker was eager – once again – to feel (and be) alive.


	2. why the honeymoon suite

At eight a.m. Kieren is jolted awake. His pleasant dreams took a nasty turn towards the time the sun rose, and now his hands shook uncontrollably. Pushing away the covers, he dashed to the bathroom. He didn’t bother to cover the mirror – not anymore – and jumped into the shower. He didn’t expect to feel the cold water on his face, but he did.

“What the f-” With a high-pitched voice abundant in surprise, Kieren almost squealed. He rushed to turn the water off. Did he just _feel_ cold water on his face? Did he _feel_? But how?  His lips were pulled into a wild grin. He rushed to turn the water back on, and let it pour down his face and body. Nothing. He didn’t feel it this time. With shaking hands he rubbed his eyes. This had been the second time he _felt_ something in the past month, and it was great, but it was driving him insane. When would he ‘heal’ completely?

He dismissed the thoughts and continued his shower. With lazy strokes he removed all mousse and dust from his dead skin. Then he got out of the shower, dried himself with the towel and then stared in the mirror, deciding not to let this affect him. He picked the bottle of mousse and the little sponge. At least his hands weren’t shaking anymore. He covered his face, neck and hands with mousse then put his contact lenses. He kinda hated doing this – that’s why he hasn’t used the mousse in a long time after Jem was admitted to the psychiatric hospital.

Mentally preparing for the day, Kieren sat at the head of the stairs. Upon hearing his parent’s voice he remembered he actually had to _move_ if he wanted to get down there. He put on a smile. He wobbled down the stairs on legs like bits of rope.

Steve waltzed at the bottom of the stairs the moment he saw Kieren. His smile was radiating. “Good morning, son! Auxilio Divino!”  He was holding a plate with some colorful foods on it.

Kieren stopped in the middle of the room, not sure whether to laugh or look away. His parents were dressed in matching white t-shirts with green neckerchiefs.

“Why – What?” Kieren stared at them and remembered it was way too early for this. He just rolls with it.

“Ah, it’s the Devonian motto.” His mother placed the dishes on the table, looking as pleased as Steve.

“But why?” Kieren followed his father and took a seat, trying hard not to laugh.

“It’s to make you more comfortable, Keir. See, we’re matching dressed in the colors of the flag. I used the internet. ” Steve proudly said, adjusting his neckerchief.

“Okay. Sure.” Kieren bobbed his head, hands in his pockets. He chuckled as his father took another neckerchief and tied it around his neck. As weird as this scene would have been for an outsider, Kieren wouldn’t have loved it any other way. He felt he just couldn’t thank his parents enough. “I- I love you. I mean, thanks for-”

“Don’t mention it, Kier.” His mother cupped his cheek, careful not to wipe the layers of covering mousse. Her eyes were gleaming with motherly affection. They stood like that for a while. Then Steve placed the food on the table.

The colorful food he saw was actually just boiled eggs in a simple sauce made from melted butter, mustard and vinegar his mother would explain. “We also made Devonshire cream tea: scones, jam and clotted cream.” His mother winked tenderly.

 He smiled. “Thank you.”

His parents looked at each other, the affection for their son obvious on their faces. He could feel things were going so much better.

After they ate breakfast – more accurately: after Kieren watched his parents eat and talk about all the things they heard about Devon from their friends – a knock came from the front door.

“I’ll get that.” Kieren almost jumped from his chair and rushed to the door. It’s amazing how, despite not feeling his limbs, he could still move so fast.

He opened the door to a neatly dressed Simon, hands nervously tugging at his button-down. Simon – just like him – had covered his exposed skin in layers of mousse and was also wearing his lenses. “Nice neckerchiefs.” He said, beaming.

“Nice tan.” He took the neckerchief off, hanging it on the rack. He moved aside to let Simon walk in.

Simon stopped in the door, mildly pushing Kieren in the wall and claiming his lips in a hungry kiss. “Ready for the flight?”

Kieren looked over Simon’s shoulder for any sign of his parents. “The _flight_ part isn’t the one I’m nervous about.”

Simon nodded. He moved a step back and took Kieren’s hand. “Don’t worry - I’ll be next to you.” He squeezed his lover’s hand, reaching his free hand around the nook of his neck.

“Oh, hullo Simon!” Steve’s voice came from the corridor startling Simon.

He took another step back. “I’ll go bring your bag.” He turned and smiled. “Hello, Steve – Sue!”

They walked into the living room and Simon headed upstairs to pick Kieren’s bags. He’s came back shortly, just as Kieren was hugging his parents.

“Have fun, baby.” Sue pulled her son in a long hug, rubbing his back. “We’ll miss you.” They gazed into each other’s eyes until Sue’s watery eyes failed to hold the tears back. Kieren’s cold fingers press lightly against his mother’s. She smiles.

He lets go of her hand and steps in front of his father. “Take care, yeah?” Steve followed her example, hugging him longer. It still felt weird letting Kieren go. Again.

Simon’s appealing voice came from behind them. He was watching the scene with tinge of pride but also envy – given his marvelous relationship with his father. “I’ll keep an eye on him.” Simon picked the bags and followed Kieren outside. Steve and Sue patted him on the back and squeezed his shoulder, wishing them their best.

They waved at the Walkers as they moved further away from the porch. “Are you ready?” Simon asked as they walked down to the train station.

Kieren nodded. “Devon, here we come.” He took a deep breath and concentrated on his walking.

Simon squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. They had to accept who they were – _what_ they were – and the increasing changes that kept smashing into them like puffy waves.

While they waited Kieren thought about Roarton – about how weird it always felt leaving that little village, despite the constant need of getting away – about his parents who, surprisingly, were getting better at handling their goodbyes, and about the flight. He was a little anxious.

After a few minutes the train arrived. The trip was rather short and pleasantly quiet. Kieren observed the passengers, the landscapes imagining it as a painting in a gray depressing palette. As soon as they got out of the vehicle Kieren searched for Simon’s hand. Despite his body being as numb as a marble statue or his heart failing to flutter in excitement or worry, his brain was as active as a beehive. A thousand worst case scenarios played in his mind on a loop: what if the trembling of his hands expands and his body convulses grotesquely in front of everyone? What if his memory is affected again and he forgets for a moment where he is and panics? What if someone freaks out when they notice he and Simon are PDS? What if, what if – so many ‘what if’s.

Simon entwined his fingers around Kieren’s, holding his shaking hand tight. “Remember how you panicked before our flight to Paris?” He said in his smoky voice. “It was adorable, but for nothing. The flight had been uneventful.”

Kieren rolled his eyes, finally smiling. “If you call what you did, ‘uneventful.” The airport was just small taxi drive away from the train station. They were left in front of a huge building, buzzing with chatter, echoes of footsteps and rolled luggage, speakers blasting with announcements and the occasional hum of a plane taking off.

The edges of Simon’s mouth twisted in an innocence-is-unavailable-at-the-moment smile “I don’t know what you mean.”

They entered the airport and searched for the check-in counter. They spotted it right away. “Uh-uh, so you don’t remember dragging me to the cramped bathroom?”

Simon seemed to think about it for a second. “No, no that I can recall.” They got in line, waiting until asked to come forward.

“Slamming me into the door?” Kieren turned to look his lover in the eyes.

Simon pouted his lips. “Nope.”  They move a step forward.

“Kissing me… for about 10 minutes?” The blond raised his eyebrows.

Simon shook his head. When his spoke his voice was fruity with a tint of mock-apologetic tone. “My memory fails me. Maybe you should remind me? Reenact the whole scene…”

Kieren bumped his shoulder in Simon’s arm playfully. “I’ll think about it.”

It was their turn now. The agent behind the counter asked for their ID and Kieren rushed to give them. When asked, Simon placed the luggage to check on the nook in the counter. The woman tagged it, and placed the bags on the conveyor belt behind her. With a polite smile on her face, she handed him their boarding pass.

“Have a good day.” She smiled.

“Yeah, you too.”  Simon stood in place for an instant. He raised his brows in surprise. They made their way to the security checkpoint assigned to their departure gate. As soon as they were out of earshot he turned to look at Kieren. “She was PDS?”

Kieren turned to give the woman another look. Her skin was pale, but abnormally so – it was the same kind of pale he saw in the mirror every morning. “Looks like it, yeah.”

“She’s not wearing the covering mousse.” Creases formed on Simon’s forehead, in contrast to his beaming smile.

“I don’t think it’s such a big deal anymore. Is it _that_ hard to believe? It’s been almost three years since they successfully treated PDS sufferers. I think people finally start to accept us.” Kieren was smiling too. Maybe Amy had been right after all: he _was_ a huge sappy optimist.

Upon meeting the security worker they showed their boarding pass and ID and were quickly sent forward. They placed themselves in line waiting to get to the x-ray machine and metal detector.

“Do you think Devon will be this tolerant too?” Kieren caught Simon’s gaze with his huge puppy eyes.

Simon stepped into Kieren’s personal space – as he liked to do (and Kieren couldn’t really complain) – talking in his calm, deep, above-a-whisper voice. “I don’t know. Maybe. Roarton is a tiny village, people are ignorant born and bred. It’s not like that in bigger cities. You’ve seen how understanding they were in Paris.”

“Yeah, but for them it was all about the tourism – I don’t know.” Kieren shook the thoughts away; it was their turn to place their belongings conveyor belt to be scanned.

“Please take off your jacket, sir, and place it on the belt” The security worker’s voice was fickle, her eyes heavy with the dire need for sleep. Kieren’s hands started to tremble as he took his jacket off. He tried to hide it from Simon. “Please remove all metal objects, including keys, jewelry, belts.” He complied quickly, tucking his hands in his pockets. She led them through the scanner – it was a quick procedure. With trembling hands he took back their belongings from the belt.

Simon low voice next to him made him shiver. “Are you okay?” He observed him with concerned eyes.

“Yeah – no I’m fine.” Kieren shot him a quick smile and kept his hands in his pockets.

Now they were in the secure, boarding area. Talking about the liveliness of the airport and miracles of modern technology, they searched for their gate number. They found it after a short while. They had an hour left until their plane arrived, so they decided to go to the comfort area.

They came across a cozy coffee lounge and took a seat in a remote booth.

From the isle the singsong of a voice caught their attention. “Woot can I get ye lads?” A smiling waiter waltzed his way to their seats – he looked as if he were on cloud 9, surrounded by angels, pies, puppies and all things nice.

“Nothing for me, thanks.” Simon threw him a quick smile then turned back to Kieren, keen on continuing their conversation. Only then did he notice that Kieren was cheerfully looking through the menu.

“I’d really love a cuppa coffee and a muffin – ta.” He smiled at the waiter. The boy scribbled his order on his notebook and dashed behind the counter to an equally jubilant young woman.

Kieren gazed in their direction for a while. What were they drugging their employers with in that place? He caught Simon’s persistent look from the corner of his eye. “What?”

“Did you want to eat?” Simon’s brows were slightly furrowed, his mouth agape, watching Kieren with his usual fascination and mysticism.

“Yeah, why?” Kieren narrowed his eyes. “This place smells nice, so inviting.” He looked at his hands – they finally stopped trembling.

“Kier, we don’t-” Simon stopped as the waiter placed the order in front of Kieren. Kieren took a deep breath – the best imitation of one, since he was after all PDS. “You can smell that?”

“Yeah!” Kieren lifted the muffin, taking in the delicious smells of fresh brewed coffee and chocolate. “Why can- ah.”  He let the pastry fall out of his hands and on the table. “I don’t eat.”

Dumbfounded and fascinated, Simon nodded in agreement. “You forgot that?” His voice was low and filled with fascination and concern.

“I don’t know. It just slipped my mind. I just… didn’t think about it.” His confused gaze traveled from the pastry to the drink, finally resting on his lover.

Simon reached out his hand across the table, inviting Kieren to hold hands. “Hey, it’s okay. It is part of the humanization process, right? Amy was forgetful in this stage too, and Philip said she even ate a few times. This is a good sign.” With calm he gently squeezed and caressed Kieren’s hand, holding his gaze affectionately.

Kieren nodded. He was at loss of words. How could he explain that for an instant his mind _completely_ forgot about his current condition? How could he put into words what he had felt when the alluring smell tingled his senses – that he even _had_ senses? It was confusing, like being hit by an immense wave and losing all sense of direction, logic or reality for a long moment. Simon’s voice brought him out of his terrified and disoriented train of thought.

“What? Sorry I- I wasn’t paying attention.” Kieren said.

“I said: I know it must be frightening, but I’m here for you. I’m not going anywhere, okay?” With that he gave Kieren’s hands another reassuring squeeze.

Under the loving scrutiny of his lover’s eyes, Kieren’s discomfort dissolved somewhat. He nodded. “Thank you.”

Simon expressed his fondness with another dashing smile. “I’ll pay the check.” He stood up and walked to the register. When he came back he waited for Kieren to stand up then took his hand in his. “How about we visit the gift shops? We still have lots of time to waste.”

They fooled around in gift shops until their plane was announced. Simon tried his best to be ‘normal’ for Kieren, to be everything he needed and cheer him up. He was going through a difficult and scary change, but nothing they couldn’t take care of.

Eventually, the incident was forgotten and Kieren was smiling again.

xXx

In less than two hours, constant chat (and no kisses for Simon) and a re-watch of “The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy”, the plane landed.

The luggage was quickly retrieved and a car was waiting outside for them.

Once they jumped in the car Kieren was finally silent. His eyes wandered all over the place, taking in the vast view of the new county. But with the air conditioner on, the car gently rocking them and the low murmur of the radio, Kieren fell asleep.

xXx

“Welcome to Woolacombe, gentlemen.” Said the cabbie upon coming to a halt.

Kieren opened his eyes and closed them shut again. The hot rays of the sun we’re blinding him, and for a disorienting moment he forgot where he was, until Simon’s husky voice broke through the haze. “Are you coming, sleepyhead?”

Opening the door for him, Simon offered Kieren his hand. The blond gladly accepted it, beaming as he analyzed the surroundings. The car stopped in front of a neat three-star hotel. He could hear the murmur of the sea – a rhythmic pace like a sweet lullaby.

“You really did take care of everything, huh?” Kieren smiled, trying hard to keep his hands to himself. He failed; Simon wrapped his hands around his shoulders and Kieren leaned in on the touch.

Simon kissed the top of his head. “You like?”

“Not bad.” Kieren said in a mock-plummy voice. Leading the way, Kieren entered in the big hall of the fancy hotel: shiny freshly polished marble floors, arched sealing and a curved staircase that seemed to lead towards Heaven. Taking him by the hand, Simon walked to the reception, confident and charming as always.

The woman at the reception, with a sunny smile on her full lips, asked for a name and ID.

“Monroe - sure.” She chuckled and signed something in the big notebook in front of her. She turned around and picked two magnetic keys. “The honeymoon suite. Enjoy your stay!” With an honest and beaming smile she wished them a good day, chuckling again as Simon distractedly bumped into someone as he saw Kieren’s crooked smile.

“The honeymoon suite, aye?” Kieren wasn’t sure if that was weird or adorable and he didn’t care as soon as Simon added the magic words: ‘great view to the sea’.

 From there, a lean boy with tanned skin and wild disheveled hair took their bags and followed them to their room on the second floor.

Once he opened the door, Kieren’s brain somersaulted away from all the bothering thoughts and right into cloud nine. The room was immense and spacious, with French windows facing the sea, white walls, blue carpets and a round modern bed in the middle. There was a mini buffet covered in colorful drinks and fruits, cozy seats and beanbags, huge mirrored doors and the most fascinating paintings made from shells of varied shapes and colors. If Kieren would have had a breath, the sight would have taken it away.

After leaving a tip for the luggage-boy, Simon shut the door and followed Kieren. He draped the smaller man’s shoulders with his arms, holding him in a tight and loving embrace. “How’s this trip so far?” His head was buried in Kieren’s blond hair, his lips placing kisses all the way to his ears.

Kieren smiled and turned in the embrace. “I could tell you, or I could show you. Whichever you deem more satisfying?” He said in a dulcet tone.

Simon cupped his face just as Kieren pushed himself closer, closing the space between them. Their lips clasped hungrily, moving relentless. The blond man pushed his lover until they fell on the bed. As the kisses got deeper their hands grew more eager to touch and reveal more skin.

Simon broke the kiss, suckling and kissing Kieren’s jaw, cheek and collarbone, while his hands pressed, pushed and stroked his shoulders, back and tights.

With a low whimper, Kieren pulled back. It wasn’t fair that he kept doing this to Simon, but they couldn’t feel it yet. He wanted to wait a little longer, and looking in Simon’s eyes he saw the other man was thinking the same.

“Okay.” Simon nodded and loosened his grip on Kieren. He smiled reassuringly. “I’ll go take a shower then we’ll go explore?”

“Sounds great.” Kieren rolled off the taller man, and fell on the back. “I can’t wait to see the beach.” His smile was beaming again.

“Yeah, me too.” Simon stood up and walked slowly towards the bathroom. Before opening the door, he stopped in place. “Is it okay?”

“What?” Kieren crawled into the bed, leaning his back against the backrest.

“The honeymoon suite. Isn’t it too… out of ‘normal’ boundaries?” Simon looked so fragile for a moment, and Kieren knew he tried to be ‘normal’ for him.

He smiled. “Yeah, well it has a great view.” He pointed towards the huge windows giving them a great peek of the restless sea. “Thank you.”

A peaceful smile lingered on Simon’s face for a long while. He observed Kieren full of admiration – Kieren could hear his mystic theories and ideas in his mind – before slipping behind the glass door of the bathroom.

What Kieren didn’t know was that Simon’s thoughts weren’t of mystic theories anymore, and they haven’t been for a long time, for Simon gave up that life to be with him, and couldn’t care less about it, especially in moments like these.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, Kieren is becoming human again – like Amy. What an unforeseen turn of events *not*. So there will be a lot of smut soon :3


	3. stars and exploding suns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *chops through the door with an axe* Here's smutty-ness!

The salty air was sticky and sizzling under the golden summer sun. Walking from the bus station they arrived to the beach in no time. Kieren took the whole sight in: miles and miles of beach, colorful lines of summer houses and beach huts and ice-cream/drinks huts, clear water, sunny sky. The beach wasn’t as full as they’d expected, only a few parents with boisterous children of all ages, teens listening to music and playing beach games or surfing. PDS and living: peacefully sharing the same beach.

“It’s gorgeous!” Kieren’s voice was high-pitched with excitement. In his moment of bliss he tried to take a deep breath, to take another sensory reminder of the marvelous place. Upon failing to smell anything or drag air into his lungs, his previous beaming smile vanished. That didn’t escape Simon’s careful eye.

“Is it over again?” His voice was shaking with worries, even though he tried to keep it toneless.

Kieren shook his head, trying to hide how hurt he was. “Don’t matter. It probably is a good sign right?” From the corner of his eyes he saw Simon fumble with his hands, unsure what to do: hug him, take his hand? So Kieren took his hand and shot him a charming smile. “Come on then, show me the beach.”

A soft smile appeared on Simon’s lips. “Alright.” His voice was more modulated now, almost excited, losing its low gruff sound. “I’m not a beach expert, though, you know?”

Kieren chuckled. They walked slowly, bumping into each other carelessly. “Have you been here before?” He asked with curiosity.

“Once.” Suddenly the sand became incredibly fascinating for Simon. “But that’s not why I brought you here.” He stated matter-of-factly. “I just remembered it was a beautiful beach. I thought you’d like it too, that’s all.” He turned to look back at Kieren and his questioning look.

“D’you come here wit yer family?” Kieren’s voice was low. Simon had told him what happened with his family, and he didn’t want to touch a sensible nerve.

“I must’ve been ten or so.” Simon said quietly. He released a little breathy chuckle. “I liked it because it was so vast and I didn’t have to see anyone if I didn’t want to.” They walked until they reached a remote point. Kieren pulled out a beach towel from his backpack and arranged it nicely on the golden sand. He knew what Simon meant. The beach was perfect for any type of person: antisocial, life-of-the-party, stay-the-hell-away-or-I’ll-murder-you aka the Garys out there.

They let themselves fall on the towel, watching the beach and calm sea in silence. It was obvious that Simon stopped sharing details from his childhood-as-a-pessimist-with-depressive-tendencies memoir, so Kieren wanted to cheer him up.

After a long moment of silence he spoke. “You know how I said I never visited the sea?” Kieren’s voice was playful.

“Uhuh.” Simon turned to him, eyes wide and shiny.

“Well, that means I didn’t swim before either.” He beamed in mock-innocence. “Care to teach me?”

Simon squeezed his lips into a thin line. “Okay.” He looked down at Kieren’s hands and took them in his. Kieren face slipped involuntarily into an excited puppy face. They stood up and undressed to their swimming pants, well, Simon did while Kieren observed him meticulously: the chest with toned muscles, the strong arms, and broad shoulders. “You coming?” His attractive husky voice broke Kieren’s fascinated examination.

“Not quite yet.” He joked before finally undressing too, revealing his lean pale body.

Their part of the beach was remote, carefully picked out of everyone’s nosey gaze. They took off their contact lenses and discarded them carefully among their belongings. Finishing first, Kieren ran backwards a few steps. “Do you need some help with that, old man?”

Simon rushed in his direction, trying to grab his waist but Kieren was faster. He chuckled. “You’re already slippery as a fish, you don’t need me.”

“Maybe- ” Kieren stopped his jumping and running. He came towards Simon, and then leaned in for a quick kiss. “- but I want you.” Saying that he walked hand in hand with Simon towards the place where the water gently washes the hot sands of the shore.

“Ready?” Simon’s low voice was very close to his ear, urging him into action.

He walked on the wet sand, waiting for the small crest of a wave to wash over his feet. He didn’t feel it, of course, but he closed his eyes. He imagined it would be just like they in the books he’d read: tingly foam brushing gently and caressing the skin, warm water reawakening the senses of the sun-scorched skin, little dance of layers of water disorienting as they remove tiny grains of sand from under his feet. He opened his eyes, aware of Simon’s concerned and fascinated gaze. He took another step towards the water, and another and another, not needing any accommodation with its temperature. Simon followed him close, still holding his hands. When the water rose past his ankles, every step became harder to make, waves threatening to unbalance him. Kieren’s lips arched in a blissful smile.

By the time he reached an area where the water rose well past his hips, Simon moved in front of him leading the way. Kieren followed him growing more and more anxious when the water level was below his nipples.

“Trust me.” Simon calmly said. “Move your arms back and forth – in gentle circular motions.” He ordered and Kieren obeyed, a little crease forming between his brows. “Don’t fight the water.” He held Kieren by the waist. “The secret is not to panic. I’m next to you, nothing bad is gonna happen.” Kieren nodded. “Now lift your feet off the bottom.” Still holding his waist tight, Simon observed Kieren slowly relax. “See, you’re floating.” He calmly gave enthusiastically encouragements. “Now drop.” Simon said toneless.

“Wut?” Kieren answered in a high-pitch.

“Like you were falling on your bed. It will feel easier than that, actually.” Simon said, this time expressing more emotion in his voice. He put his hand on either sides of Kieren’s waist.

For a long instant Kieren looked at Simon with a raised brow. Was he insane? “Well, it’s not like I can die, can I?” Kieren threw the witty remark and seconds later he was gently led on his belly by careful hands.

“Keep your head above the water.” Simon moved his hand to Kieren’s forehead to lift if up.

Shaking out of balance and a little scared, Kieren started kicking at the water. “JEsUS fuck just don’t let me go!” Cristal clear water splashed all over Simon, sticking stripes of black hair together. Soon enough he looked like the most adorable hedgehog. Kieren chuckled softly and relaxed.

Simon moved his hand back on his waist, holding him securely. “Okay, just move your arms and legs now. Circular movements.” Like in a weird game of ‘Simon said’ – the PDS beach edition – Simon commanded and Kieren obeyed. “Alright – relax, Kier.”

“I am relaxed!” Kieren said in a wobbly voice, cracking Simon up. “It’s not funny!”

Simon pulled the inexperienced swimmer towards deeper water. “It’ll be easier to swim here.” He held him in place as the blond tried not to panic, moving his arms and legs in chaotic circles. After about a while, though, he managed to coordinate the kick, and Simon let go.

Simon let go of him and swam a few steps away. Kieren watched him as his muscular body split the water for a second, sparkly droplets clinging to his skin and taking their flight in the sunlit air. His head emerged from under the water, a pale hand whipping away the bothering droplets on his face. He passed a hand through his hair and Kieren was lost – he loved this new look: smiling face, spiky hair and hopefully a beard soon. “Swim here.” Simon held his arms wide open, waiting for Kieren to test his newly learned skills. He was still goofy, but at least he didn’t panic anymore. “Great job!” After he reached him, Simon pulled him in his arms. He cupped his face and rewarded him with a kiss.

Kieren smiled, his lips softly brushing against Simon’s. “Yeah? Well, you’re a lousy teacher.” He hit the other man’s chest gently in mock-anger.

“How can I make it up to you, I wonder?” Simon pulled Kieren back in his personal space, their noses softly grazing every time a small wave pushed them against each other. He passed his hand through his lover’s blond hair, slicking it back so he could better see his face. Kieren rolled his eyes. He reached his hands behind Simon’s neck, pulling him towards his lips. The kiss was long and wet and salty, slightly warm – their bodies being warmed by the sea. Kieren pulled away.

“I felt that!” His eyes were wide and sparkling with surprise.

Simon smirked. “How about this?” His lips met Kieren’s once again, and once again the blond felt it. He tasted the salt on his boyfriend’s lips mixed with the sweetness of the covering-mousse; he felt small grains of sand and salt on his skin, and hot spots warmed by the sun, on his toned body.

“YES!” Kieren’s voice was tremulous with excitement. He took a step back, punched the water and _felt_ it. It was warm as his hand hit its surface he felt the pain like a billion tiny ants dancing the Macarena in his veins. The hotness of the sun and the wind on his skin felt like a blowtorch warming him up after years of frosty sleep.

He pushed his lips against Simon’s, this time deepening the kiss and taking in every sensation. His hands explored his wet body, in search of a tactile confirmation of his appearance: he felt the slippery texture of the skin, the tingling of his hair and firmness of his muscles, the sharpness of his hipbones… until he couldn’t feel anymore. He stopped; he pulled away. He leaned his forehead in the crook of Simon’s neck, letting his arms dangle by his sides. He wasn’t cured completely yet. This had been just another mean tease from his body.

Simon held him in his embrace, stroking his back for comfort. “This time it lasted longer.” He shot Kieren a soothing smile.

“Yeah.” A quick smile grazed Kieren’s lips. He took a step back. He looked at Simon with hopeful eyes. “Let’s swim to the shore?” He dropped in the swimming position and made his way through the water with unaccustomed movements.

Simon followed him a few moments later, making sure Kieren was alright. He swam slowly behind him. When eventually they reached the shore Kieren crawled out of the water and dropped on the dry sand. He was exhausted – not physically but mentally. Simon moved past him to their beach towel, grabbing another towel from the backpack. He dropped to his knees next to Kieren, and once the blond rose in a sitting position he wrapped him in the clean towel, rubbing his back.

“It’s not like I can feel the cold.” Kieren said just above a whisper. However he gladly wrapped the towel tighter around his body.

Simon pulled him in his arms. “Not at the moment…” He said softly. He kissed the top of his head, giving his body another reassuring squeeze.

Kieren leaned into the touch. “This is insane.” He chuckled. Simon watched him questioningly. “I want ice-cream. Like, I _crave_ ice-cream.” He chuckled again. “I feel like a pregnant lady.” Simon was looking at him with amused wide eyes. “Don’t look at me like that would be possible.” He bumped again into Simon’s shoulder. “Fuck off.” He said despite his lover did not say a word. He rose to his feet and rubbed his almost-dried skin with the towel. “Let’s take a walk around the beach?” Kieren said with a witty spark in his eyes.

Simon nodded and followed him back to their beach towel. He helped pack. “How do you feel now?” He asked more concerned than curious.

Simon shrugged his shoulders. “Same as always I guess.” They started dressing up. “Amy told me she was terrified when her first symptoms started to show, but because she thought she grew immune to the cure and she was going rabid again.”

Simon picked the backpack and threw it over his shoulder. They were ready for their explorative walk. “Do you share those fears?” Simon asked. They started walking along the shore with no destination in mind.

“Kieren shook his head. “It like, with every episode I feel more secure and optimist.” He beamed.

“Yeah?” Simon smiled.

“Every time it happens the feelings are stronger than the last time, or at least it lasts longer.” Kieren said firmly, putting a brave face on.

They change the subject as they walked down the beach. They talked about Simon’s summer at the Woolacombe beach, about the stray dog he found in the parking lot and tried to smuggle home. (Kieren blinked amusedly. “I’m trying to imagine a kiddy you with a tiny puffy Yorkshire.” “It was a very small and furry Beagle.” Simon told him.)

While they were walking, laughing and chatting the sun had already set and it was getting darker. They reached a picturesque spot where the green grass entwined with the golden sands, where the waves crushed mildly on the shore, and early stars shone above the water in the pale night sky. Simon took Kieren by surprise when he stopped and rummaged through the backpack. He took out the beach towel again, arranging it on the dry sand.

Simon explained: “Star gazing. It was on your what-to-do-on-the-beach list.” He reached for Kieren’s hand and dragged him gently down with him. The blond smiled in disbelief – Simon remembered something he randomly mumbled what seemed ages ago. Well, he better turn that naked drawing of Simon into the best painting he ever made – as a gift of utmost appreciation.

Kieren dropped on his back, his hand still in Simon’s bigger hand. One hand tucked under his head and legs entwined in Simon’s, he looked at the light-blue summer sky. The lazy glistening splatters were of course stars and constellations whose name he never truly tried to remember. There was something about them that made his brain race wildly: he could relate to them. Many of those starts could be just echoes of what they once were – maybe now they were more glorious then ever or maybe they exploded millennia ago, but their light still carried on, even after their death. They still affected time and space – _his_ time and space – and that thought was equally saddening and uplifting. His light had carried on after his death, affecting his parents. And now his light is changing and evolving into something better without ravishing the lives of those dearest to him. He said: “They’re beautiful.” His voice was fickle, mostly because of his huge smile preventing him from forming the words properly.

“Yes they are.” Simon didn’t even bother to observe the sky or the stars. For him there was only one star in his sky. He cupped Kieren’s face, turning it to face him. He gazed into the white eyes with irises shaped like exploding supernovas and his brain skipped the next seconds; he was lost in Kieren’s beauty. The rush he felt was like the explosion of a thousand suns, and Kieren was the only one who could control the flames. “You’re beautiful.” Before the blond could answer, Simon caught his lower lip between his cold lips starting what he knew would be a long kiss. Kieren’s lips got entangled in the kiss and refused to stop. He turned on the side, reaching his hand for Simon’s spiky hair and ruffling it as he pushed and pulled urging the man to continue his kisses. And Simon gladly did. His hands sneaked behind his boyfriend’s light body grabbing his ass and pulling him on top of him like a protective duvet. Kieren fell lightly on his elbows. He buried his hands in Simon’s hair again, as the kiss resumed. Simon’s hands searched for the rim of Kieren’s shirt, diving under the thin material. They wandered up and down his spine, moving Kieren’s body too and grinding it against his own. Kieren moaned. Against his lover’s lips Kieren whispered: “I can feel it.”  They broke the kiss – Kieren whimpered at the loss but Simon’s mouth was eager to please in other ways. His lips left a trail from Kieren’s lips to his cheeks, eyes, jawbone and ears. There Simon’s lips parted and whispered: “I know.” Simon had watched him closely, and it was easy now to notice when there was a change in Kieren’s body. With experience hands Simon unzipped Kieren’s pants, pulling them down the perky ass. A half-hard cock was revealed, pre-cum droplets shining under the infinity of shining stars. Gentle fingers stroked the head smearing the pre-cum all over the erected member. Simon grazed his lips all over the warming body, kissing the sensible areas from the neck to the nipples, nipping and sucking at the skin eliciting sweet moans. Under the loving attentions, Kieren was lost.

He wished Simon could feel it too, but when he tried to explain him as much, he understood this was his will. Simon shushed him. He reassured him with kisses, tender bites and lazy strokes that he was doing exactly what he wanted. A hiss escaped Kieren’s lips as the hand around his cock stopped stroking. Said hands found another job: they grabbed the sharp hipbones while with a swift movement Simon switched their places.  Once on top he grabbed the bothering pants and pulled them slowly down to Kieren’s ankles. The blond shivered slightly as the chill sea-wind brushed against his hardened wet dick. But it didn’t take long before it was covered with Simon’s mouth. While his lips played with the top of the cock, cold fingers massaged the base and the balls. Kieren was writhing under the sudden jolts of pleasure, moaning and struggling ever harder to keep his breathes steady. Simon twirled and poked around the head and body of the cock, sucking it as if his life depended on it. He bobbed his head one, two… five times then his hand took the place of his lips. Kieren wasn’t too pleased with the new change, if his groan was anything to go by. Simon smirked. His lips went back to kissing and suckling, this time between his tights. His hand worked up and down the wet cock, massaging and squeezing. “It- It’s been a-a long time.” Kieren managed to whisper between high breaths and moans. He groaned. He tried to speak again: “Go s-slow-” but Simon’s mouth was back over the pink head of the cock, suckling. Kieren’s head jolted back against the sand. His hands – until that moment tightly clenching the towel – clutched at Simon’s hair making him move faster.

Simon’s lips turned into a smile at seeing how he affected the man writhing beneath him. He pinned Kieren’s hips in the towel-covered sand – from the whimpers and moans he heard from him, Simon knew the blond was close to the edge. And he was right. After a few more licks and sucks Simon pushed Kieren over the edge. He came with a loud moan, and fast uncontrolled jerks of his body. His lungs were burning, begging him for more air. When he finally calmed down – his breaths even and his skin a little cooled – he looked over at Simon. He was sitting innocently between his legs smearing cum all over and away from his lips. And that’s how the air was kicked out of Kieren’s lungs and his entire body started burning again. “I’d love to compliment your taste but- I can only imagine.”

Kieren broke into a breathless laughter, and then he clenched his hand around Simon’s shirt tugging him down next to him. His lips were swollen, hot and sensitive but he caught Simon in a long passionate kiss nonetheless. “Thank you.”

Simon kept his eyes closed for a moment, imagining how it all could have felt. He moaned. With smoky and sensual voice he spoke again, half dreaming half awake: “Yeah.” He was beaming.

“I mean it. You didn’t have to do it-” Kieren started again, trying to explain, but was cut off by another passionate kiss.

“I told you – it was my pleasure.” He winked. He got up on his knees and crawled close to Kieren’s legs. He pulled his jeans back up slowly and zipped them just as carefully. He patted the blond on his tight. “I don’t want you to get cold.”

But truth was Kieren couldn’t feel it anymore. “Don’t worry. The human-time is over. I can’t feel shit.” He released a muffled laughter. “It feels like some creepy joke – It’s as if I can feel only when you’re next to me.”

Simon was still sitting on his knees, watching Kieren tuck away his face. He shook his head. “Nah – I’m always next to you. That’s not how it works.”

Kieren removed his arm from his face. “Yeah but Amy said she only felt _once_ just before – you know, her eyes had color again and she had a heartbeat.”

Simon considered it for a moment then he spoke in a calm husky voice: “Maybe it works differently from person to person.” Kieren shook his head, a pensive glimmer in his white dead eyes. “We’re all different in some way, Kier. Why would that be so hard to believe?” But Kieren wasn’t sure what he believed. Maybe Simon was right. Maybe this was the very personal way his body was reacting to the changes. He shrugged. “Okay.” Simon bowed and kissed his forehead. “We should head back to the hotel – it’s getting dark.” Kieren nodded and stood up. They picked the towel and stuffed it in the backpack. They walked slowly following the shore, this time in the direction they came from. The hotel wasn’t far and the night was gorgeous so they decided to walk to there. After all, they couldn’t get tired. “Don’t you feel tired?” Simon asked Kieren. He couldn’t quite understand how his body functions shut and turned on like that.

Kieren’s voice was fruity and lively, not at all tired. “My brain is a little tired, but not my body. The usual way, I guess.” He was radiating with joy: he got to feel Simon. He didn’t know how much he wanted it until it happened. They were walking down the well-lit streets, hearing the partygoers and cheerful families in bars and restaurants, in huts and summer houses. This time Kieren felt without needing his body to turn on the _feel-it_ switch: he was thrilled and full, as if he could burst with bliss every second now. He reached for Simon’s hand and stared humming some happy song. Simon turned to watch him, his eyes and smile widening at the sight. He joined the humming. They walked joyously down the street to their hotel, like love-intoxicated teens, holding hands and singsong-ing off key, in sync and under breathe the lyrics of cheerful songs.


	4. living dead

The sun-light slid its annoying fingers between the curtains landing nowhere else but on Simon’s closed lids. One moment he was in warm oblivion, the next, sleep scampered off on fragile little legs. Simon groaned. He buried his head in the pillow pressing it against his ears.  He had no clue what time it was – definitely sometime between ‘way too fucking early’ and ‘5 more minutes, please’. Outside, the sounds of the street and the sea were in another world, yet somehow way too loud. With another groan Simon turned on his back. His hand instinctively searched for Kieren’s body next to him but found the spot empty. The only thing his hands found was a nicely folded paper. That definitely woke him up. Wide-eyed and anxious Simon took the piece of paper in his hands, failing to notice the slight tremble. The note read:

_At the hotel’s restaurant_

_Socializing with our fellow adventurers_

_((You looked too peaceful to wake up))_

_Hurry_

_xx –K_

Simon smiled with relief. For a moment he feared the worse but now his head was buzzing with adorable images of Kieren running around the island like a hyper 4-year-old or a very tall puppy. He chuckled. Three weeks had passed since they first arrived in Woolacombe, but Kieren’s enthusiasm hadn’t diminished one bit. Every morning he’d wake up and hurry to the beach. He’d say: “This month’s almost over – I want to make the best of it while it lasts.” So they spent their days at the beach, they met new amazing people – PDS and otherwise – and visited the vicinities of Woolacombe all the way to Ilfracombe (“This is-” Kieren stopped, staring at the 67ft bronze statue of a half-flayed pregnant woman, with a confused look on his face. “Verity – she’s the truth, characterized by so many as ‘ _ugly’_.” Simon explained confidently – amazed by the complexity of its meaning.), calling his parents every second day and asking about Jem. And just the day before, Saturday, they cruised to Lundy Island. Simon smiled to himself remembering the great plan they had for these days: a whole weekend of kayaking, coasteering, mountain-biking, learning to surf and climbing. Surfing was checked off the list, back at Woolacombe beach (Simon decided to sit out that specific activity), they mountain-biked as soon as they arrived, so their last day on the island would be all about kayaking and coasteering.

Simon got out of bed, and walked to the windows. He pulled the curtains away, squeezing his eyes a little at the brighter light. The view was breathtaking: an island buzzing with life, green fields and a restless sea. He rummaged through his luggage for some clean clothes and the ever ubiquitous bathing-suit. He took out the shirt (a blue sleeveless shirt that clung too tight to his chest and waist) Kieren bought for him to “match the new look” (that would be the forever-disheveled spiky hair and constant smiles to match his ‘heart-eyes’) and some jeans and hurried to take a shower. It was time to go and play with his adorable hyper puppy.

 

xXx

 

Kieren woke up just as the sun rose above the horizon, with the biggest smile on his lips. He untangled himself from the sheets and jumped to his feet. He could feel a new fresh energy bubble through his brain. Simon was fast asleep on the other side of the bed – sheet over his head, safe in his fortress of pillows. He tried really hard not to chuckle at the sight. He tiptoed to his bag. Bathing-suit, towel, jeans, shirt – he took them all quickly and tiptoed to the bathroom. In less than 10 minutes he was ready, morning routine and all (minus the application of the mousse and the lenses – North Devon, so Lundy Island too, were practically the definition of _tolerance_ ). He searched through the cupboards for a pen and paper. When he found them he scribbled a message for Simon and placed in on the pillow. Soon enough he was jogging down the stair into the restaurant.

People were already in the restaurant and on the shore when he arrived. They were just chilling with the instructors, talking about the plans for the day and socializing. He walked to the food buffet and picked some lettuce-lamb-egg-cheese-tomatoes submarine sandwich and dropped it on his plate, searching for some tea next. When he was pleased with his breakfast selection he walked to one of the tables where one of the people he met in Woolacombe was eating his classic British meal. Kieren smiled in his direction and the other man waved at him. “Kieren! Come, sit with me.”

 

xXx

 

When Simon arrived downstairs, the restaurant was bursting with joyful people. Still, it wasn’t too crowded and he easily spotted Kieren. Simon’s brows creased with confusion. Kieren was chatting with the man they met on the beach – which was totally fine – but he was _eating_ a huge sandwich. “What the-?” He genuinely seemed to have forgotten that he wasn’t supposed to eat – again – smiling and chatting happily. Simon watched as Kieren and the other man shook hands, and then the man walked outside. Finally his brain snapped him back to reality and he advanced towards Kieren’s table.

“Mornin’ sunshine!” Simon said with a charming voice. Upon seeing Simon Kieren’s smile widened and turned into a grin.

“Hey!” Kieren greeted him. He stood up and threw his lean body in Simon’s arms, holding him in a tight hug.

“You seem awfully happy.” Simon said once Kieren let go of him. As a confirmation to his statement Kieren captured Simon in a quick kiss. “So I take it you like this place?” Simon’s gaze moved from his lover to the sandwich on the table. “What’s with the-”

Kieren talked over him. “I can’t wait to go kayaking!” He was beaming now. Sitting down he took Simon’s hand and tugged him down on the chair in front of him. “Do you have your bathing-suit on?” He asked. Simon nodded. “The instructors said we would leave soon.” After a little pondering Simon decided to tell Kieren that he was eating and he should stop. But it was so hard. Kieren went on about how awesome kayaking would be, blurting facts about kayaks and kayaking he probably got from interrogating the trainer. (“Did you know they have _tandem_ s – like, kayaks designed for two paddlers? They’re longer with two cockpits.”) Simon watched him affectionately. He had to tell him about the food before it would make Kier sick.

Eventually Simon interrupted his boyfriend’s excited talk, by putting his hand over his moments before he was about to take another bite from his half-eaten sandwich. “Kier – don’t.” He said with gentle voice. Kieren stopped and watched him uncertain of what he meant. “If you eat you’re gonna be sick.” An uncomfortable moment of silence passed with both men frozen in place, until Kieren snapped back. He let the sandwich fall on the plate and removed his hand from Simon’s. His eyes were opened wide but he was unable to look Simon in the eyes. He couldn’t understand how he forgot about it again. It was so frustrating and embarrassing. He stood up from the table and rushed back to their room. “Kier!” Simon called softly, but Kieren didn’t stop so he let him go. He sunk into his chair watching his lover rush away. Now he could only wait until the blond came back.

Kieren fumbled with the keys, his hands starting to tremble suddenly. After some frustrating seconds he managed to push them in the lock and open the door. Not sure if he closed the door behind him, he rushed to the bathroom and leaned against the sink. This was going to be a terrible experience. He already started to feel sick – not the human kind of _sick_ , but the kind where your viscera are so heavy that they pull you to the floor and then it gets messy.

 

xXx

 

Simon and the rest of the kayaking group were already on the shore around the scheduled area. He was restlessly looking around for any sight of Kieren. The first people have already picked their kayaks when the blond appeared in Simon’s visual field. “Here you are!” Simon waited for him to come within touching distance then wrapped his hands around his shoulder squeezing him reassuringly. “How do you feel?” He asked carefully, even though Kieren was looking even much better than before.

When Kieren talked his voice was steady. “I’m fine, Simon.” He smiled. “It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.” Simon was confused and it showed, so Kieren explained: “I felt sick like usually when we eat, but the food-” he looked around at a couple watching them and lowered his voice. “- the food ‘stayed in’. It felt weird… like a bad hangover or something. But that’s all.” His voice was calm and cheerful enough for Simon to stop worrying.

He nodded. “Okay.” He gave Kieren’s shoulder another squeeze then let his hand slide down and took his hand in his. “Come. We still have to pick a kayak.” He said, the relief obvious his voice.

“You didn’t pick a kayak yet?” Kieren asked in mock-anger and a pitched voice. “You had _one_ job!” He chuckled as Simon pursed his lips and simply tugged him away. He couldn’t be happier that Kieren had kept his humor.

They managed to pick a tandem after all, Simon activating his _mystic mode_ to distract the couple that wanted the last tandem too. “Christ, Simon… you’re getting better at this.” Kieren said with genuine amazement after he assured the kayak with two cockpits was theirs. They put on their ‘shorties’ (fancy kayak-y name for short sleeved paddle jackets), life jackets and helmets and were ready to go. “Jump in!” Kieren walked in front of the kayak. As soon as Simon was in his cockpit he jumped in too. Sliding in his seat he cursed under his breath. The others were already moving and he was still having trouble with attaching his spray skirt* (since he missed the part where the instructor explained how to use it).

“Need some help with that?” Simon asked in a mock-macho voice. Kieren shot him his best too-adorable-for-you face and kept trying to push the straps over his shoulders.

“Why do we even need these?” Eventually Kieren defeated the evil spray skirt and seated himself victoriously and comfortably in the front of the kayak.

 “We’ll explore this side of the island, isn’t this great?” He beamed at Simon. They started paddling. In the beginning Kieren cringed every time a small wave hit the kayak making it rise and slip graciously on a foam trail. Simon placed his hand over Kieren’s arm and squeezed it tight until the first waves passed. “Is this thing supposed to shake like this?” His voice was adorably high-pitched. Still, Simon couldn’t bring himself to laugh: he didn’t feel the rise and fall of the kayak, but Kieren did. That was weird, and it also meant that Kieren was having another episode of human feelings and sensations. It was fascinating, if not a little scary. So he just comforted his boyfriend with quick scientific explanations the instructor gave them earlier, not mentioning anything about what might go on in his body. Soon Kieren got used to the new sensation of being pushed and pulled at the same time, and went back to his beaming hyper-puppy self.

The wind was grazing the surface of the water lifting it in tiny shivering waves, like goose bumps, glistening under the hot rays of the summer sun. Under all the layers of clothes, Kieren was starting to feel too warm, but he didn’t seem to notice. Instead, he paid great attention to the surroundings. The shore was further behind them with every thrust of the paddle and soon the noises of the beach were replaced by the squealing seagulls carelessly flying in the azure sky. Kieren looked behind at Simon. They smiled.

 

xXx

 

They came back to the shore just around 3pm – the official lunch time in the hotel restaurant. Kieren and Simon used that time to explore the island. They meet more PDS sufferers they befriended and toured with for a while, until their next scheduled event:  climbing and coasteering. Simon kept a close eye on Kier and every change in him. The instructors took the enthusiastic students to the west side of the island that could mainly be described as: Cliffs. Cliffs _everywhere!_ Although Kieren was beaming and excited Simon’s smile was a little reluctant – until Kieren fixed that with a kiss. Simon did have a hidden motive to follow Kieren up the climbing-wall, though: when Kieren leaned for the kiss after putting his equipment on, his was slightly _out of breath_. His _breathing_ was irregular and heavy, as if he held his breath for far too long.

 

xXx

 

The sun was ready to sink below the horizon when they finally returned to the hotel. The clouds appeared lit with the vibrant orange of the sun – like neon lights – making the water look like whiskey whirling in the immense glass of the world. After their adventure on the blue sea and gray cliffs the vessel was ready to pick them up and bring them back to Woolacombe. The restaurant was incredibly cheerful and friendly around dinner and everyone was chatting with everyone, music filling any silence of the background. The atmosphere enveloped the two lovers in euphoria. For two more hours they forgot about all their problems and troubles, and in the golden-orange lights Kieren’s cheeks seemed on fire. On the ship the ecstatic mood continued, until they reached the harbor. They said their goodbyes then Kieren ‘magically’ gravitated closer and closer to the beach instead of heading toward the hotel. “Oh look, we’re close to the beach.” Kieren said in mock-surprise, not even trying to hide his desire to be close to the littoral again.

 “I wonder how that happened.” Simon chuckled.

To which Kieren had a suggestion: “Why don’t we take a walk on the shore?” Soon they found themselves on the sandy road. They walked barefoot close to the water, drunk with each other’s presence and the idyllic sight of the sea, hand in hand and swaying carefree. Their lengthened shadows reached the water, creating a marvelous show of silhouettes. Suddenly, Kieren stopped talking and dropped in a squatting position. He brushed away some layers of sand, feeling its wetness under his finger, and then picked out something. “Shells.” He had that _creativity-mode: activated_ spark in his eyes. “Let’s see if we find more pretty ones.”

Simon’s lips curled into a smile. “Sure.” Walking down the shore they searched for shells, throwing the ‘declined’ ones back into the sea.

It was dark now, and the only lights were from the moon and beach houses. They were still walking further away from the hotel, each bragging about their shells. “My shells are prettier.” Kieren waved his hand in front of Simon’s eyes, showing that the ‘debate’ was over before it began – a smug smile on his pale lips. “I’m better at collecting shells – Simon, give up already.” Kieren laughed, bumping into Simon as the dark-haired man picked another shell from the shore. His hands sank into the wet sand dug out a black and white shell from its hiding place.

“Never.” He said in a smoky voice. “Besides -” he rose to his feet with his new trophy. “- mine is bigger.” He smirked as Kieren rolled his eyes and turned his back to him. He watched Kieren bend and search for other shells.

“A-ha!” Kieren shot back up to his feet. He was holding two small shells in the palm of his hands. Simon came closer to observe them and immediately knew what his lover intended to do with them. “Souvenirs. Here -” Kieren took Simon’s hand in his, opening his palm and placing one of the shells. “- the dark-blue and grey will bring out the blue in your eyes… or lenses.” He grinned, but Simon just stared at his eyes like he was frozen in place. Kieren frowned for an instant then resumed his idea. “They already have tiny holes – we just have to string them on a chord and we’ll have custom made necklaces.”

Simon contemplated, still observing Kieren wide-eyed: “Matching love necklaces.” He pulled himself out of the deer-in-the-headlight state and chuckled. “Imagine how thrilled Amy will be to see them.” He observed his pendant-to-be: it was about the size of a fingernail, with gorgeous wavy designs and spiky texture.

“Yeah, she’ll talk about it for hours.” They both beamed upon talking about _Amy – the_ _beautiful genius_. “We should search a _moregeous_ shell for her!” Kieren exclaimed with excitement. Laughing lovingly they looked through their shells for _the_ one shell worthy for their BDFF. (“Best Dead Friend Forever!” They said in unison, chuckling.)

At last they found the most beautiful and unique sea shell they saw the entire evening: it was half the size of Kieren’s hand, and it spiraled down in a wavy shape to a point where it was bulky with a small opening and with lots of small pikes at the very top. Its colors were mesmerizing: about three shades of dark-red mixed with the purest white and an alluring pink. It looked so lively and special.

Eventually they noticed it was getting too dark and decided it was better if they headed back to the hotel. They reached the bus station just as the bus came to a halt. They jumped in and chose the last seats in the back. Kieren took the seat next to the window, as eager as always to see more of the surroundings, and Simon sat as close to him as possible. With their hands entwined they started to talk with quiet voices. Kieren sighed: “I wish every day would be like today.” He leaned his head against Simon’s shoulder, nuzzling into his neck.

Simon kissed the top of his head, and then spoke lovingly. “What if it could?”

Kieren lifted his head to look his boyfriend in the eyes. “What do you mean? Like, come here every summer? He contemplated the idea for a moment. He nodded. That would be awesome.” He smiled.

Simon shook his head. “What if we bought a house here?” He spoke every word carefully, paying huge attention to his boyfriend’s reactions. Kieren’s eyes widened in surprise – he hadn’t thought about it. “Imagine living in one of the houses on the beach:” he spoke faster and faster now “waking every morning to the sight of the sea, ready to walk out and dive into the clear water, bathe in the sun, step on the burning sand-”

“- alone with you and no bothers.” Kieren completed the other man’s mini-list with a steady dreamy voice on his slightly trembling lower lip. He rushed towards Simon’s face, his smiling lips capturing the other man’s lips in a long chaste kiss. His hands were just as quick, wrapping around Simon’s neck and pulling him in a tight hug until his palms hurt like thousand tiny needles under his skin – but he didn’t seem to mind them. When they pulled away, Kieren was beaming – biting his lower lip to keep him from smiling too wide. He felt as if the corners of his mouth could rip his flesh open if he didn’t stop his grin from widening.

After Kieren pulled away Simon was frozen in place. His hand was still raised mid-air, cupping the air where Kieren’sface was instants before, his eyes closed and lips puckered. He needed a moment before he composed himself. “So… I take it as a yes?” He resumed, trying to fish another kiss. Kieren just rolled his eyes.

“I’d love it.” He said quietly. Their gazes were locked into each other, unable to look away – for more than just one reason. “I more than love you.” Kieren reached for Simon’s hand at the same time as the other man tried to do the same. They held hands all the way to the hotel: in the bus, on the street, in the hall of the hotel, in the elevator, on the corridors, and in their bedroom. Well, they did more than hold hands once the door of their honeymoon suite was closed behind them – _Do Not Disturb_ sign on the handle:

Simon pushed Kieren against the wall, pinning him with his hipbones and hands. The blonds’ eyes lost their paleness completely now, and the pupils restarted their dilatation and contraction. “I knew it…” Simon whispered with amazement. Saying that Simon was amazed would be an understatement. In the past hours he watched as Kieren’s eyes got darker and darker until they slowly went to their original color. Now his eyes were lust-blown. Simon took another moment to examine the changes in his lover’s body, unable to fully believe it quite yet. He was filled with an ecstatic admiration. He cupped his lover’s face, observing every detail of the effects of the change – Kieren was so beautiful.

Kieren kissed his boyfriend’s pale lips, and a sudden jerk shook his whole body as shivers of pleasure pressed against his tongue and lips. His hand grabbed the nape of Simon’s neck, pushing the dark-haired man and deepening the kiss. He could _feel_ Simon’s smile on his lips.

Simon’s hand slipped into the blond hair, pulling softly and moving his hand caressingly. The kiss was wetter and more heated with every passing second, but eventually Kieren pulled away: his lungs were burning – he needed to breathe. Simon took advantage of that, gently pulling Kieren’s hair and angling his neck so he could better kiss it. His cold lips touched the heated skin, kissing the collarbone and moving all the way up to the jaw. He nipped, kissed and suckled, leaving Kieren a whimpering mess. His hand moved under Kieren’s shirt, stroking the lean torso. He pulled it up, allowing his eager hand to go straight to the nipples and fondle them. Kieren threw his head back, enjoying the endearments and urging Simon through rhythmic moans and wavy movements of his hips to touch more.

“Can you feel this?” Simon’s hand moved to the other blonds’ groin, tenderly stroking it until he reached the bulge in his pants.

Kieren moaned weakly. “Yes.” Pushing both his hands under Kieren’s shirt he tried to get the garment out of the way, while the blond worked his thin fingers around the zipper. Once the shirt was out of the way, Simon brought his hands back to Kieren’s head, burying his fingers in the soft hair. His lips placed kisses all over the neck, leaving a cold trail as they reached the lush lips once again. Abandoning his mission to unzip his jeans, Kieren stroke his lover’s strong arms, chest and shoulders, trying to touch and actually _feel_ as much of him as possible.

Breaking the kiss, Simon made a quick job of taking off his pants, throwing them haphazardly in the room. Then he cupped Kieren’s face again, chuckling at the sight. His cheeks were fiery red, his lips swollen and red, partly open as he tried to suck in more air. Leaning towards Simon for another kiss, Kieren’s hands tugged at his shirt, fumbling with it for a while before finally succeeding to take it off – sadly breaking the kiss. Simon intruded in the tight space in Kieren’s jeans, reaching for the swelling bulge he could see through all the layers. A loud whimper escaped Kieren’s lips as he pulled the waistband away, exposing his shaft to Simon’s cold fingers. From the base to the tip, his skilled fingers stroked and fondled Kieren’s member leaving him breathless and making him lean against Simon’s strong body for support. The pleasure was great, mostly because Simon was touching him, and because it was sensual and pleasuring, but also because he was _turning_ and now he could feel. He moaned. Still holding him against the wall, Simon wrecked Kieren’s body with passionate kisses and hungry lips. His lips reached Kieren’s chest biting softly in the sensitive flesh and soothing it with more kisses and grazes of the tongue. His hold around his lover’s shaft tightened as the strokes picked a faster pace. Reaching the nipples, Simon licked them both, savoring the pretty noises that elicited, then carefully biting and suckling them with almost vulgar pops of the lips.

When he saw the sticky trails of pre-come over his hand shine in the dim light Simon slowed down. He brushed his lips against Kieren’s earlobe, and the blond tighten his grip around his lover’s back. “The bed” Simon commanded just above a whisper in Kieren’s ear. The blond nodded and Simon pulled them both towards the bed. There, Simon pushed Kieren by the shoulders on the soft mattress and waited until he crawled into a comfortable position on the bed. When he was ready, Simon slipped after him, positioning himself between his legs, having an excellent view of Kier’s hardened leaking member. His hands went up and down Kieren’s legs caressing and soothing him, then he dropped on his elbows with his head landing just in the right place: between his boyfriend’s tights. He kissed the inside of those tights slowly, suckling the skin between his lips for long tormenting moments – every kiss making Kieren’s heart beat faster. After having kissed both tights he moved confidently towards the base of the cock – encouraged by Kieren’s short pitched breaths to wrap his mouth around the cockhead and swirl his tongue. He sucked hard on the head and swirled his tongue which cause Kieren’s body to jerk forward. The moans never stopped from that moment on, and Simon brought his hand near the base of Kier’s dick playing with his balls. His other hand slid down Kieren’s hips and tights, fondling the meat until he reached the entrance to the perky ass. Kieren whimpered when a cold finger pocked the puckered entrance.

“Simon-” Kieren tried to speak but Simon sucking him off for dear life wasn’t exactly _helping_ him concentrate. “S-Simon!” Kieren’s grip around his boyfriend’s hair tightened, pulling him back to get his attention. Simon released a low groan that Kieren felt echoing throughout his entire body – starting with his cock – then moved away. Seeing that he caught Simon’s attention Kieren spoke with shaky yet excited voice: “I don’t want this yet. Please wait? You still can’t-” Kieren watched his lover with apologetic yet lust-blown eyes.

Simon’s finger retreated. His hands went back to their previous caressing and fondling of Kieren’s body. “Okay. If this is what you wish.” He said understandingly in a husky voice. He smiled attractively and chuckled.

“What?” Kieren asked, still trying to even his breaths.

“Yeah -” Simon started kissing Kieren’s body from the knee to his hipbones, his lips softly grazing the skin as he talked. “You’re definitely a tease.” Simon said in a deep seducing voice. Kieren chuckled and let himself fall back on the bed, but his body was lightly jerked back as soon as Simon’s lips resumed their licking and kissing - this time on his painfully-hard member. Kieren tried to take shallow breaths between the moans and whimpers, trying his best not to thrust his cock into Simon's mouth, even if it wouldn't hurt him. Simon continued to bob his head, faster and faster. He moaned deeply in his throat, more for Kieren's pleasure than anything, sending hot cold shivers of pleasure throughout Kieren’s entire body, making his toes curl tight. “Ugh, fuck! Simon-”Digging his fingers into the sheets and clenching them tight until his knuckles whitened, he pushed his head deeper into the mattress. His shaft was twitching into his lover's mouth and soon he couldn’t control himself anymore – he was out of practice after all, and Simon was more than good. Bringing the back of his hand to his mouth, trying to muffle the moans – and failing – Kieren felt his groin warm up, his legs curled around Simon’s back and he thrust involuntarily in Simon’s mouth. He came hard with moans and heavy pitched breaths. Simon moved away, replacing his mouth with his hand and milking his lover through his climax. As the spurts of hot sticky substance ceased, Kieren’s tens body started to relax. The skin over his member was very sensitive now and he involuntarily twitched when Simon’s hand took a firmer grip. The black-haired man noticed and stopped. Instead, he slipped next to Kieren’s heaving body, using his hands to embrace him and soothe him.

“Shhh –everything’s gonna be alright now.” Simon soothed him in a deep loving voice. “This is fantastic, Kier!” he added a little later when Kieren turned to a side, a leg wrapping Simon’s tights and pulling him closer, his head under Simon’s chin. Noticing how Kieren’s breaths became completely even now, Simon caressed his back, allowing him to rest. “Sleep now. Everything is fine, love.” He whispered. “I love you, Kier.”

Assuming that Kieren was already asleep, he didn’t expect a reply, yet the fickle and cheerful voice answered: “I love you too, Simon.” Simon’s lips curled into a huge smile and although his body couldn’t feel anything, he was damn sure that Kieren made his brain orgasm with those words. “I think I’ll grow a beard.” Kieren mumbled half asleep. Simon was silent for a moment then he chuckled himself to sleep. Kieren with a beard – yup, he would love to see that.

He too fell asleep soon after that, slipping into the dream world where his little adventures with Kieren continued. For Simon, this had been the amazing ending for an amazing day.


	5. spaghetti Woolacombe and (meat)balls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I suck at finding good titles and this one just...*face-palm*) HoLy sHiTe!

Kieren sat on the hot sand, legs crossed in front of him. The sizzling summer-air was making him sweat. He watched the sea, letting his thoughts drift away. He felt so peaceful. His naked feet sunk into the hot sand – he really enjoyed the soft burn. Now that the whole humanization process came to an end, everything he felt was incredibly intense. He could barely believe he was 'cured'. Under the scrutiny of his dreamy eyes the sea was entangled in its hypnotizing dance. Now he could actually feel the air on his skin, he could smell its saltiness; he could allow himself to be caressed by it. The roots of his hair were tickling him – like little flows of electricity under his skin – at every breeze. His skin stung from the rub of salty water and sand, especially around his bathing suit, from a long exposure to sea-water and the beach. But to finally  _feel_  things, and not just  _know_  they were there… that was something he had to adjust to. He smiled at this new tactile world of wonders.

"Ouch!" A sudden sting brought him back from his contemplating and looking at the sea. Kieren raised his hands and turned his wrists so he could observe them. The wounds were closing, just like the doctors said they would, and it hurt. He often wondered how his PDS body had worked, how his vein – once split open – was now closing as if nothing really happened. He was curious as to  _how_  this was possible. He asked Simon once. His answer was calculated and mystic, of course: "I don't think the doctors know this either."

With steady fingers he tried the area around the wounds. He grazed the red bulged skin around the stitched wound, slowly, feeling the swells under his fingers. He clenched his jaw. This was so much to take in at once. His nails regained their normal healthy color and shine – every sign of the paleness or blue spots were now gone, replaced by healthy pink blood-irrigated tissue. Suddenly sadness and fear washed over him like one of the waves he was watching. Having his wrists slit was painful enough, and thinking about Simon's huge spinal incision and the pain  _that_  will inflict while healing was terrifying him. He shivered and shook his head – he had to think about something else. Worrying wouldn't do any good; he learned that on his own skin.

That day he woke up – as he usually would – before the first rays of sun sneaked their warmth and light over the horizon. He had walked on the beach, taking in all the feelings and panicking in silence. But now it was late enough, and he wanted to meet Simon before breakfast. 

 

xXx

 

Simon sat on the bed leaned against the backrest. His hands were stretched in front of him, shaking slightly under his scrutiny. He heard Kieren open and close the door before he saw him.

"Hey what are you still doing in bed?" Kieren asked. He stopped at the foot of the bed and smiled excitedly upon observing the trembling members. He whispered: "Your hands-" and Simon nodded and folded his hands in his lap. They were still shaking. "When did it start?" Kieren seated himself on the bed next to Simon. He took the shaking hands in his and squeezed them softly. They were so cold and rigid – the tendons were stiff, the doctors explained him once. He wondered – once again – how it was even possible for PDS sufferers to move…to  _exist_. His brows furrowed then he relaxed. His eyes wandered all over Simon's body searching for any major changes. He knew it was too early for anything else but happiness held no time for logic. "I noticed the shaking last night when you were in the shower." Simon spoke, his voice smoky and even as always. "But it didn't last long – less than a minute, maybe." He tried to hold his feelings under control but Kieren could easily hear the excitement, the pinch of fear and anxiety. Kieren leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on Simon's blue-ish lips.

Kieren exclaimed: "That's great." Simon smiled absentmindedly. "I was about to call Amy and brag again with how awesome this place is-" Kieren continued talking, trying to keep a straight face. "- and how terrible you are." That made Simon chuckled a little. With another reassuring squeeze to Simon's hands, Kieren got up. "C'mon now, get dressed. I'll go call Amy." Kieren bounced to the phone in the living-room area on his long thin feet.

Simon threw the blankets away and got out of bed. He could see Kieren leaned over the coffee table dialing the number – the receiver between his shoulder and cheek. He smiled to himself. This changes to come were terrifying, and not only because he had a huge incision from his cervical to his lumbar area. He tried to be this mysterious extremist, poker-faced and immune to emotional pain but ultimately he failed – because of Kieren. Because Kieren brought out the best in him and he got lost in everything Kieren did. He had a burning desire to be a better person because Kieren had that effect on him. He was weak and scared, but with every passing day his doubts that Kieren wouldn't be by his side, ready to help, scattered away. With that whirlwind of thoughts rushing through his brain, he got dressed.

"Hullo Amy – yes – me too." Kieren grinned foolishly into the receiver. "Your BDFFs are doing great." His voice echoed merrily in the room. "How was the trip back? Yeah?" he chuckled. "How's Roarton?" Simon smiled and walked behind Kieren and laid his hands on his shoulder, slipping on his chest and eventually pulling him into his chest. Kieren chuckled. "Figures. Hey, we have more great news." Kieren announced.

Amy's voice was filled with the usual joy and love for life and her best dead friends forever: "News? Well, spit it out dum dum." Simon's head was laid on Kieren's shoulder so now he could hear Amy's voice very clear. And so Kieren told her about Simon. She squealed and laughed and Kieren could hear her jump up and down and twirl around the telephone cable. "Well I guess we won't be BDFFs soon, huh?" Her loud laughter made Kieren move the phone away from his ear. "I'm thinking about BLFFs? Best Living Friends For-almost-ever?" Kieren chuckled. He offered: "Well, we'll still be friends –  _that_  is not negotiable." Amy then went on about how wonderful it all was, until she realized what implications came with that and demanded to speak to  _the moregeous charmer_ so Kieren passed Simon the phone.

Kieren left Simon in the living room, allowing him some privacy. He walked until he reached the bathroom and closed the door behind him. He sat in front of the mirror, staring at his tanned face. He still couldn't believe that the brown eyes in the mirror were truly his and not contact lenses. He leaned closer the huge mirror over the sink. Thin fingers touched his skin, like they were trying to rub off some invisible cover-mousse. But the pink in his cheeks was real; the color in his flesh was actual tan. The blue on his lips, gums, nails and neck had been replaced by a lively pink, making him look so alive. The edges of his pink lips turned upwards into a shy smile. Once again he looked at the wounds on his wrists and couldn't repress the thoughts of gratitude. It hurt – and it was such an amazing feeling.

 

xXx

 

The call had been pretty long but both men were happy to talk to Amy. She had the gift of making everything seem incredibly easy and enjoyable. That was a welcome feeling for Simon, especially in those moments. Amy repeated the story of her coming-back-to-life process, emphasizing how great everything felt afterwards and how minimal the pain was. "The fear was all in my head!" she would repeat. When the call ended Kieren was at the desk and Simon shuffled his feet leisurely towards him. A couple of weeks ago he had bought some pencils. Since then almost every evening was dedicated to this top secret 'project' Simon wasn't allowed to see. It looked like Kieren was working on said project now.

Simon leaned over his lover's back, his hands on the desk supporting his weight. When he saw the drawing he chuckled. "Is that a better looking version of myself?"

Kieren worked rapidly on the details of the bed drawing-Simon was sprawled on. He leaned into the comforting space between Simon's arms and his firm chest. "Better looking?" He asked mockingly, and his brows furrowed. "It must be the beard or the ruffled hair… or the barely visible pubic hair under the waistline of the unbuttoned jeans…"

Simon chuckled: "It's a good drawing. You're so talented Kier." Kieren let the pencil drop and smoothly turned around in the chair until his face was so close to Simon's, their noses almost touched. Kieren's hands held Simon by the waist. His eyes were big and dreamy and somewhat more mature. Simon cupped his head and pulled him into a gentle kiss. When the blond pulled away for air, they rested their foreheads against one another. Simon whispered in a serious tone: "I will grow that beard."

Kieren burst out laughing. He pushed his boyfriend away jokingly. "Dick!" He shook his head – a huge smile on his lips – and pointed his finger at Simon. "I will hold you to that!"

Simon raised his arms defenselessly. "I warned you about kisses with a bearded guy." Kieren rolled his eyes. He watched Simon put on some clothes (constantly teasing him: "I might have drawn that a little shorter." Simon continued to pull his underwear up, slower. "I might have to redraw it… with you as a model… when you grow that beard." White fluffy pillow flying towards Kieren's head: dodged. ) and then they left the hotel room.

After a very late breakfast in which Kieren rediscovered his love for food, (Kieren: "This-" he pointed to an almost-empty plate of English muffin egg pizzas "-this I adore!" he chuckled. "I'm gonna get fat aren't I?" he asked joyfully as he bit from another mini-pizza) they finally got a call from the house-sale company. They had checked their preferences and put together a whole list of houses they might like and afford, all over Woolacombe beach, seafront.

 

xXx

 

As the asphalt got gradually covered and eventually replaced by sand, Simon stopped the car. In front of them stood proud the third house they were planning to look at that day (and the ninth in the two weeks after the first call). It was an immaculate white beach-front house, cozy-looking with its huge French windows and window-doors welcomingly open. A well-dressed minute woman sat on the front porch. Upon seeing them arrive she stood up and went their way.

"Gentlemen." The woman was their home sales assistant: petit figure, short blond hair and sunny personality. She agreed on meeting them at the house after taking care of a few more details, and as it seemed, those details had been taken care of. "Would you like to see this beauty from the inside?"

They followed her through the glass front door, stopping in the hall – observing wide-eyed. It was a truly wonderful house: spacious, modern pastel-colored furniture, clean white walls, polished wood floors. The living room was separated from the hall by an opened smoky-glassed sliding door, allowing the men to peek inside: a sofa, two armchairs, an immense wall-bookcase with a rectangular hole for the flat screen TV, a fluffy carpet and ceiling-to-floor windows facing the sea. The bedroom shared most of the chromatic details, huge French windows, fluffy rug and modern furniture, not too crowded yet practical and comfortable.

"Wow." Kieren was genuinely amazed. From all the beach houses they visited that day, this one was by far his favorite. Simon seemed equally pleased.

The blonde led them into the kitchen next, taking a few minutes to assure them that this house – just like the others – was well appointed, replete and ready to be sold.

The woman was standing tall and she spoke with certitude. "I had a feeling this was the house you were looking for."

Simon, unlike Kieren, didn't do a lot of observing the house. Instead, he watched his boyfriend's reaction to it, and right now Kieren was beaming. His puppy eyes were glued to every detail, taking in the structures and colors and possibilities. "Seems like you were right." Simon acknowledged.

The blonde arched her eyebrows, half in amazement half in self admiration for yet another well-done job.

Kieren studied the dark-haired man for an instant, searching for the right things to say. He failed; he was too excited, and instead he decided a nod and a lively "Yes!" would do the job.

Three signatures, a cup of tea and a chat later the house was theirs.

After the sales lady left, Kieren nearly jumped into Simon's arms. "We own a beach house?" He grabbed his blond hair in half-disbelief and excitement, taking Simon aback with a long kiss.

"So you're happy?" Simon buried his hands in Kieren's soft dirty-blond hair. Kieren rolled his eyes, deciding to ignore the question and deepen the kiss. A decision highly approved by Simon. The new house and dreamy prospects of a life with his lover were nourishing the fires of Kieren's excitement. When they broke the kiss Simon gave him an once-over full of mysticism and huge love.

"Don't go all mystic-" but Kieren's protests went unheard as the dark-haired man claimed his lips in a passionate kiss, nearly making them both stumble and fall. "Easy there." Kieren joked; his lips grazing his lover's lips as he spoke.

"You want me to stop?" with every word Simon pecked Kieren's lips, his eyes never breaking contact with his lover's once he pulled away.

As much as he wanted to pull Simon back into the fiery – and newly wet – kisses, Kieren took a step back. "It wouldn't be fair. You still can't feel."

Simon shook his head, dismissing the idea and pushing himself back in Kieren's personal space. This time they didn't stumble. "No, but I'm hungry." He said in a low seductive voice. Kieren rolled his eye and asked in mock exasperation: "Really?" But Simon shook his head, chuckling. "I mean it." He whispered. He leaned his forehead against Kieren's, closing his eyes, his hands caressing his boyfriend's chest and shoulders. "Ever since this morning I felt hungry… for 'normal' food." Kieren straightened up. He cupped his lover's face looking him straight in the eyes. As the realization of the statement sank in, the corners of his mouth lifted more and more. "You eat?" Kieren beamed. "See, I told you everything was gonna be alright." He comforted Simon before his lips captured the other man's pale lips in a hungry, excited kiss. He pulled away soon – he had so many questions: "Did you eat? Are you still feeling hungry… or sick in some way?"

Simon shook his head. "I haven't eating. I think it's too early for that and I'll feel sick." He explained.

Kieren's eager hands fondled Simon's body from cheeks to hipbones – part with worry part with excitement. "How about pain?" He asked. "Does something hurt?"

"No." Simon assured him.

"Do you want to see what this 'well-appointed' kitchen has to offer?" Kieren asked. "I could cook you something?"

"How could I say 'no' to that?" Simon teased. He tugged Kieren by his shirt, catching his mouth in another round of kisses.

Kieren pulled away before it could get too intense – and before his pants would get too tight. Simon watched him with overconfident eyes and a crooked smile. Kieren cleared his throat. "This hunger I'll satiate later." He whispered. He moved past Simon and into the kitchen.

He searched in every cupboard for something he actually  _knew_  how to cook. In the back of the top cupboard he found a box of pasta, some salt and a couple of small jars of ragù with big chunks of meatballs. He took the jars in his hands and smiled. "These I can cook." He stated – catching Simon's amused gaze. "You'll help, of course." He teased, turning his back on Simon. He heard him chuckle and move towards him.

He said: "Tell me what to do, and I'll follow your lead."

Kieren opened the lower cupboards in search of a saucepan. When he found it he stood up and laid it in Simon's hands. "I always knew you were a sub." He teased. "Now, be a good boy and fill this with water." Simon tried to hide his smile but failed. He filled the saucepan with water, while Kieren pulled some spaghetti out of the box and turned the stove on. Simon placed the saucepan on then moved behind Kieren. He nuzzled the nook of his lover's neck, kissing it and making him giggle. "I'm not  _that_  hungry. I could still prove you wrong: I'm not a sub."

Kieren laughed. "We'll burn down the house." He turned into Simon's grip. Their chests were pressed against each other, Simon's leg between Kieren's tights. "And of course you are a sub."

"Of course." Simon approved while leaving kisses trails from Kieren's jaw to his cheeks and lips. "Totally submissive."

Kieren moaned softly: "Definitely the sub."

Somehow between make-out sessions they managed not to burn the food. They found plates in the upper cupboard and filled them with steaming pasta and ragù.

They were seated at the table, Kieren's hand on Simon's lap. "Are you ready? It's totally fine if you don't want to eat, you know." He reminded his lover.

Simon shook his head. "No, it's fine." He revealed: "I was actually pretty hungry." He scoffed. "It feels so unreal."

Kieren knew what he meant. He had been there nearly a month ago. But he also got through it, and there were no records – so far – of PDS sufferers that didn't make it through the change. He tightened the grip on Simon's leg and made sure the other man would notice – since he couldn't actually  _feel_  it.

Simon smiled bitterly. "Well, let's see if you should give up painting for cooking." He warned Kieren before ungracefully stuffing a forkful of ragù-dripping pasta into his mouth. He couldn't taste it nor smell it, of course. But playing pretend every once in a while was healthy.

"How is it?" Kieren asked. His plate was still untouched.

Simon moaned then swallowed loudly. "Never tasted anything more delicious in my entire second life." He said exaggerate-politely making Kieren laugh. Taking another fork of pasta Simon caught his lover observing him. "Not hungry?" he pointed with the fork toward Kieren's untouched plate. "I can assure you this is amazing pasta."

Kieren's brows furrowed. "It's too hot. They were emerged in boiling water for about ten minutes? The perk of being human: an overly-sensitive tongue."

They had been indeed very hungry. They ate, avoiding silence like the pest. They talked about anything house-related, about paying the hotel and finally moving, about a possible future visit from Jem and Amy…

Simon remarked: "We should invite Philip too. He's Amy's plus one after all." They chuckled and started imagining Amy's married life:

Kieren: "Could you imagine them as parents – having three little brats running around the house, breaking stuff, making noise?" He laughed.

Simon: "Honestly I can't even imagine Philip taking care of an inanimate object."

Kieren – unable to stop laughing: "Are you still making jokes about the toaster?"

Simon: "That was the first thing Amy told me about him. Chances are this is going to be the only think I'll ever remember about him." He chuckled.

Kieren – around a fork full of pasta: "Yes but- you bought him a toaster for the wedding!" He shook his head. "Amy told me it had a short circuit… it's dead." Both laugh knowingly.

After dinner Kieren offered to wash the dishes while Simon rushed to the bathroom. He didn't feel sick, he didn't feel anything at all, actually – he didn't feel the hunger anymore. Despite him feeling alright, Simon still spent about an hour in the bathroom. He sat down on the closed toilet seat holding his head in his hands, walking in front of the mirror from time t time. But nothing happened. 

 

xXx

 

"How are you feeling?" Kieren was waiting on the corridor leaned against the wall.

"Have you been here the whole time?" Simon asked.

Kieren nodded. "In case you felt sick and you needed help." He furrowed his brows with worry. "How is it?"

The usual crooked and charming smile formed on Simon's lips. "I'm fine. I don't feel sick at all."

Kieren's face lit up. A wave of relief washed over him and for a moment he felt so light he had to lean against the wall – worried he might just float away. He beamed. "This is  _so_  great!" When his feet finally stopped feeling like jelly, he closed the distance and kissed Simon's cold lips.

"I kinda feel sleepy, though." Simon informed him.

"Okay." Kieren's hand took Simon's and he pulled him gently towards the bedroom. Once there Kieren let go of Simon's hand and watched him strip in his underwear, get into the king-sized bed and disappear under the covers. "Get some sleep." He leaned over him and kissed his forehead. "I'll go take a shower."

Kieren closed the bedroom door behind him and crossed the corridor to the bathroom. He closed the door quickly got rid of all his clothes.

He felt so sticky. He looked for some shampoo or soap and found a bottle of shampoo soon enough. Although he didn't feel tired, visiting beach houses, in the hottest time of the year – with a newly brought back to life body – sure made him sweat. He was so thrilled to finally have found a house. During dinner they planned on going back to the hotel the next day to pick their stuff. He was so excited.

He got into the shower and adjusted the water temperature. The water pressure was – surprisingly – so much better than the one at the hotel. He let the hot water run down his lean body, down his cock, through his fluffy hair, down his pale ass – thinking about Simon. About how wonderful everything would be from that moment on, and about how terrible this change would be for his lover in the beginning. He would be there for him, no matter what. But he had to admit, the idea of a human Simon was a huge turn on for him, beard or no beard. It wasn't only the appearance, but also the thought of him finally feeling something physical and being able to please him… and have him please Kieren. The thought of having Simon as a human: kissing moist hot lips, touching hot skin, rubbing an erected twitching member, hearing actual moans of pleasure not just having him fake it, was very delighting.

With strong fingers he squeezed the shampoo bottle. A nice-smelling substance spilled into his hand and he put the bottle aside. He rubbed the shampoo all over his chest, muscular arms, neck and tights – with closed eyes, and still thinking about Simon sprawled naked on a bed pleasing himself – until he reached the inside of his tights. He felt his semi-erected member twitch at the contact with his slippery hand. A soft whimper escaped his lips. He didn't really want to jerk off in the shower – and not just because Simon was in the next room – but his hand slipped so perfectly around his hardened member, and his groin felt so warm inside, he just couldn't stop. He gave his cock a few lazy strokes. His thumb and index played with the head – teasing it.

There was a sudden cold breeze but Kieren ignored it. He kept his eyes closed and his hand pumping, until eventually he had to lean against the wall for support.

There was a noise and Kieren opened his eyes to find Simon naked, in the shower door – a huge crooked smile on his lips. "Don't stop because of me." He said in a husky, sensual voice that sent shivers into Kieren's entire body – especially into his cock.

"I wasn't about to." Kieren moaned softly.

Simon closed the shower door behind him. "Good." He grabbed Kieren's hipbones and held his gaze for a while then watched as the other man fondled his shaft.

Kieren bit his lower lip. "Enjoying the show?" He asked seductively.

Simon's answer came just as seductively: "Very." He moved slowly closer to Kieren's lips and kissed them softly while Kieren tried to shut off the annoying water hitting his face. He succeeded, but Simon turned it back on. He grabbed the head of the shower with a hand and Kieren's shaft with the other.

"What are you doing?" Kieren chuckled.

Simon's gaze caught his and he smiled. "You don't expect me to drink soap?"

"Wha-?" Kieren tried to ask, but was cut off by Simon's swift fall on his knees, then by kisses on the inside of his tights and finally by Simon's mouth around the head of his cock. Kieren moaned. This was so much better than what he was doing minutes prior.

Simon's tongue swirled around the head before going deeper. His hands were fondling Kieren's balls and base of the dick, while Kieren's hands were pulling the other man's hair, pushing and urging him to take more cock in his mouth. Simon bobbed his head again and again and his lips and dimpled cheeks made pornographic sounds around the erected cock. Soon Kieren was a moaning mess, writhing under Simon's special care and trying not to thrust too hard into his mouth. When Simon picked up the pace, Kieren was already on the edge. When Simon moaned with Kieren's dick deep in his throat said edge crumbled under Kieren's feet. His toes arched, his muscles tensed and fingers clenched in Simon's hair, his breath quickened and heartbeats threatened to push his heart out of his chest. Realizing Simon's mouth wasn't going to pull away, Kieren reached his climax. With loud moans and hitched breaths he came hard into Simon's mouth, while he milked Kieren through the orgasm. He was violently thrust forward and had to grab the walls for support before his feet turned to jelly. He let himself slip down the wall until he reached Simon's level. He moaned at the sight. Simon's lips were covered in white sticky cum and he was lazily licking it.

"Better than your hand I hope?" Simon asked cockily – which earned him a playful push against the shower doors. He answered: "Way better." Catching his breath, Kieren mounted over his boyfriend and started kissing him passionately. His hands cupped Simon's head while his tongue explored and tasted the insides of his mouth and his cum-splashed lips. Tasting himself on Simon's tongue, he moaned. When they pulled for air they laughed and took a moment. "How about we wash and go to bed?" Simon suggested – Kieren cuddled on his chest.

They washed one-another slowly and lazily, kissing and chuckling from time to time. When they were finished they towel-wrapped themselves and shuffled their feet back to the bedroom where they fell tired on the bed. Simon covered them both then nuzzled next to Kieren, waiting for him to slip closer and cuddle.

They fell asleep: legs entwined, cuddled in each other –  _both_  breathing easily.


	6. epilogue ~ under the stars

Stars were splattered all over the night sky, shining like billions upon billions of diamonds; Kieren loved to observe them, especially on nights like this when a huge moon was shining gracefully, casting its bright rays on every surface. It made everything look so surreal and idyllic.

It was the last week of August and, amazingly, it was still warm. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise, though, it was technically still summer, but they were in Britain after all. Kieren smiled. He pulled Simon closer to his body. The picnic chest sat next to them, full with the remains of a delicious dinner – cooked by Simon, the very menacing 12th disciple of the Undead Prophet, the preacher of self-love, baker of wonderful pies, incurable romantic who sang serenades to his boyfriend under the star-lit sky. (Simon started singing in the most adorable Al-Martino-wanna-be voice “No matter what the world may say about me/ I know your love will always see me through/I love you for a hundred thousand reasons/But, most of all I love you because you're you” Kieren bit his lips in a fit of laughter and adorable-overload) Kieren chuckled to himself remembering.

Now they were sitting on the beach, in a very remote place, on a beach towel, cuddled in each other. Simon was watching the sky with dreamy eyes – a hand under his head, the other one wrapped tightly around Kieren’s back, like in a reversed scene of their love story: this time Kieren being the one awkwardly and intensely observing his lover. He couldn’t help it. By now all the death paleness from Simon’s skin had been covered by healthy pinkish layers of well-blood-irrigated tissue and a faint layer of tan. His pupils were properly shaped, and his eyes were as blue and clear as the summer sky. His lips were plush and pink, as if he recently applied some sort of products – ready for Kieren to ravish them with kisses. He was dressed in a white button-down (the first buttons ‘innocently’ unbuttoned for Kieren’s delight) that clung just perfectly around his body, and a pair of mind-blowing jeans.

Silently thanking whoever designed those jeans, Kieren nuzzled his head in the nape of Simon’s neck. The smell of the sea was intensified on Simon’s skin in a combination of salty water, fresh breeze and something Kieren could only identify as ‘Simon’. He smiled.  “You were right about the stubbles… they’re almost a full beard now.” Kieren praised, mumbling into his boyfriend’s warm body – his lips grazing the stubbles on the cheeks as he spoke. “Did I mention how terrible your song was?” He teased. He kissed Simon’s cheek, feeling the sting in his sensitive lips. He liked that. It was like a reminder that he was _human_ and _alive_ now. “Yeah? I don’t think you did.” Simon said, just above a whisper. “Well, it was. Thank you.” Kieren added. His lips left behind a hot tingly trail of kisses on Simon’s skin from the cheek to the chin, jaw and lips. Simon smiled and relaxed under his boyfriend’s loving ministrations. Then he caught his lips between his.

Kieren pulled back catching Simon’s adoring stare. Concern furrowed his brows.  “How are you feeling, Simon?” Kieren asked, just above a whisper.

Simon cupped Kieren’s cheek with his free hand, caressing it with his thumb. “Much better.” His pink lips curved into a faint smile. He pulled the hand from under his head and fumbled in the picnic chest. After a moment he pulled out a small bottle with a white label. Kieren shivered and the skin on his legs and arms rose into forming goose-bumps. He knew that a wound like Simon’s hurt like hell until it healed, and that the doctors prescribed him this medication. But seeing Simon ex-junkie-for-kicks Monroe with drugs in his possession sent cold sweat down his heated body – making him feel nauseous. Seeing Kieren’s reaction Simon tossed the meds back into the picnic chest. He turned to the side, looking Kieren straight in the eyes. “I’m fine, Kier.” He said in a husky voice. His hand resumed its caressing, this time sinking in Kieren’s soft hair. “I’m not gonna lie: this is some strong medication, but I’m not losing it. Not now.” He kissed Kieren’s forehead. “Not now that I have you.” he whispered centimeters away from his lover’s ear. Kieren closed his eyes. He trusted Simon, but he couldn’t help feeling nauseous about it. He nodded. “Okay.” Kieren concluded.

Simon captured Kieren’s lips in a chaste kiss, and another, and before they knew it they were making out. The kisses were long and passionate. Kieren licked Simon’s lower lip – he could taste sweetness of the cherry pie and Simon’s unique sweetness – then he slipped his tongue inside, brushing repeatedly against Simon’s eager tongue. It didn’t take long until it all escalated: Kieren mounted on top of his lover, pinning his hands down – knees on either side of Simon’s strong body. As the kisses went on, becoming hotter and wilder, Simon broke free from Kieren’s hold. He gripped his boyfriend’s hipbones and pushed him up and down his groin. The friction had the wanted effect: Kieren groaned into the kiss, pushing his hips harder against Simon’s body. Simon moaned. He slipped his thumbs under Kieren’s waistband, fondling every inch of bare skin before he undid the button and unzipped the zip.

Kieren pulled away. Simon whimpered at the loss. “Simon-” he said sheepishly “- are you sure you want to-” but Simon didn’t let him finish. He pulled him gently by the hair until their lips restarted their hot, wild dance. And as the kissing was resumed, so was the process of getting rid of Kieren’s jeans.

Simon did a fast job of getting Kieren and himself naked – clothes discarded haphazardly all over the place. Then he got on top of Kieren, pinning his hips down with his strong hands. He smiled down at his lover crookedly. His hand slipped down and gripped Kieren’s cock, stroking lazily.

Then Simon wrecked Kieren’s body with wet, passionate kisses and hungry lips. His lips reached Kieren’s chest biting softly in the sensitive flesh and soothing it with more kisses and grazes of the tongue. His hold around his lover’s shaft tightened as the strokes picked a faster pace. Reaching the nipples, Simon licked them both, savoring the pretty noises it elicited, then biting and suckling them with wet – almost vulgar – pops of the lips.

When he felt the sticky trails of pre-come over his hand Simon slowed down. He brushed his lips against Kieren’s earlobe, feeling his hands tighten their grip around his back. “Ready?” Kieren nodded. It was all it took for Simon to grab his shoulders and – with a graceful swift movement – align their bodies perfectly. Kieren watched with lust-blown eyes as Simon mounted over. Simon stretched over to the picnic basket. In a second he pulled out a bottle of lube.

Kieren chuckled. “You knew this was gonna happen.” He remarked.

“I hoped.” Simon said in a low, sensual voice.

“Thanks goodness you’re a whore, then.” Kieren teased, pulling his lover down and kissing him passionately. “But it’s _you_ in _me_ this time.” Kieren murmured between kisses. Simon moaned in agreement. When they pulled for air Kieren had that sheepish look in his eyes again. Simon couldn’t help but moan at the sight. The things he wanted to do with that boy. When he spoke, Kieren’s voice was faint, only louder than a whisper. “Just – it’s been so long since-” he stopped and worried his lower lip with his teeth.

“I’ll go slowly.” Simon assured him. He leaned over Kieren’s naked body, kissing his swollen lips. “Trust me. I’m gonna take care of you, Kier.” With heavily lidded eyes, Simon’s lips grazing his, Kieren nodded.

With steady hands, Simon gripped Kieren’s hips, stroking and soothing him as he seated himself between his legs. “It’s going to be alright.” Simon reassured. Kieren nodded again, his heart fluttering with anticipation. Simon bowed down, as if Kieren’s body was a temple, and kissed all the way from his knees to the inside of his tights. He suckled the heated skin around the hipbones, and when he noticed how much pleasure it brought to his lover, he started marking him with soft bites, kisses and licks. For the nipples the pleasuring time was longer – Simon suckled and nipped them until they were red and puffy, and Kieren’s breaths were hitched.

Simon felt Kieren’s growing erection against his hipbone – hard and wet as it leaked pre-cum form the top. He smiled over Kieren’s hot skin. “Mmhhh-” he observed “- you like the teasing, huh?”

Kieren’s grip around Simon’s shoulders deepened painfully. Simon chuckled. “Don’t be a little bitch, Simon.” Kieren whined – an adorable smile on his lips. “You’ve got me pinned down. Now fuck me senseless.” Kieren demanded, biting his lips.

“Okay.” Simon accepted. With a loud pop the dark-haired man opened the bottle of lube, smearing big amounts of its slippery and smooth content over his hands, cock and Kieren’s puckered hole. The blond whimpered as the first intruding finger brushed lightly over his tight entrance, sending waves of pleasure towards his shaft. The finger poked at the rim and eventually pushed past. Kieren bit harder on his lower lip. It was definitely a sensation he hadn’t felt in a while. He groaned.

“Are you alright?” Simon’s soft whispery voice soothed him somehow, bringing him back to the _here_ and _now_.

“Yeah. You can go faster, you know.” Kieren announced and chuckled – trying to even his breaths.

Simon obeyed. His slippery finger entered all the way in, knuckle-deep. The finger moved inside, testing, widening the entrance, and before Kieren knew it another finger moved in, and another, scissoring his entrance and poking at the inside of his walls. “How does it feel?” Simon asked – his eyes were partly closed, mesmerized by the utter beauty they were observing. As an answer, Kieren’s hips moved up urging Simon for more and fucking himself on the fingers.

Simon moaned. “Fuck. You’re beautiful, Kieren Walker.” Simon kept moving his fingers, while his hungry lips placed kisses inside Kieren’s tights, his groin and the base of his cock.

Kieren’s moans turned into whimpers when Simon pulled out his fingers. Simon grabbed his erect cock, giving it a few strokes. His eyes closed and his breath hitched at the sweet relief. Soon, his tip was pushing at Kieren’s rim, throbbing with every sweet moan and shiver. “I’ll go slowly on you.” Simon’s deep voice was pushing Kieren towards the edge – and right now the edge was insecure and crumbling.

“Just do it, Simon.” Kieren grabbed the back of his lover’s head, pulling him down and locking their lips in a wet smooch.

Accepting the distraction, Simon pushed his cock inside Kieren. When they broke the kiss he stared down at Kieren as his hands braced either side of his lover’s head. Once perfectly sheathed, Simon angled himself. He softly brushed past Kieren’s sweet spot, making the blond groan. He wanted Simon to stop the teasing and give him all he had to offer. Now!

“For fuck’s sake, Simon fucking move!” Kieren growled.

Simon chuckled but obeyed. Kieren’s hands reached for the nape of Simon’s head, tugging his hair. Simon pulled his cock out, leaving the tip inside and pushed it back in several times. “Fast enough?” he joked, slightly out of breath.

“F-faster.” Kieren commanded – his dom-side was finally re-awakening.

“I always knew you were a dom after all.” Simon chuckled before complying and thrust his cock back into Kieren’s hot, lubed hole. With every thrust he moved faster and faster, as his lips suckled and marked the tender body underneath him. He was really struggling to get enough air – it was exhilarating. He had tried breath-play before and loved it – seeing how Kieren was the dom, the thought about suggesting it… for next time; one step at the time.

His hands held Kieren’s hips in place for a while, but the blonds’ rocking hips were too alluring, and denying them the freedom seemed a huge crime. So he moved his hands to Kieren’s dick, cupping the base with one hand, smearing pre-come from the tip with the other, before grabbing it tight and stroking. Kieren pushed up against Simon’s cock and hand, fucking himself – a blessed expression on his face.

An explosion of moans flooded Simon’s ears, in perfect sync with his thrusts. So if he were to judge by his lover’s moans, Simon was hitting just the right spot. Wet noises of lips sucking flesh, and general flesh hitting flesh, joined the orchestra of moans and heavy breathing. Kieren grabbed Simon’s hips, pulling faster and faster until his thin fingers dug into his boyfriend’s firm ass – that would definitely leave bruises.

“You’re beautiful.” Simon allowed the thought to escape his lips, when he pulled for air.

“I’m insatiable.” Kieren corrected him, bringing a hand to Simon’s head and leading him back to his burning lips. Kieren’s skin was getting hotter and hotter with every passing second. Every touch from the other man sent shivers all over his skin. He was ecstatic.

 “Ngh, just- faster!” His limbs grew weaker with every thrust, his muscles tensed, his heart raced like insane, and his moans and begs left him breathless as the hotness in his groin grew.

Simon was quick to obey, again. Straightening his body, Simon pushed Kieren’s legs further apart and over his shoulders. Kieren moaned at the sight. When he lifted his hips _insatiably,_ Simon’s hands pinned them down, pulling the blond closer in a strong move – Kieren’s ass hitting Simon’s balls and thrusting his cock further against Kieren’s prostate, with a pornographic sound. Saying that Kieren was turned on would be a terrible understatement. He moaned repeatedly – Simon’s name on his lips like a prayer. Simon thrust over and over again, hard and fast, hitting the prostate each and every time. Kieren was a writhing mess under his powerful thrusts, breathlessly moaning and whimpering, every moan turning into a desperate gasp for air. Simon was riding him so hard it was difficult to breath. He loved it.

Kieren’s hardened member was freely bouncing with every thrust. He took it in his unsteady hand stroking it fast and hard, trying to be in sync with Simon. The blue-eyed man moaned at the sight. “So good for me.” He groaned.

It didn’t take much for their edges to crumble under their feet. Simon was first. His body jerked forward several times until, with a last loud moan, his head fell back and his body tensed. He came with Kieren’s name on his lips, milking himself in his lover’s tight hole until his member was too sensitive. By that time Kieren was done too. His body arched upwards and cum spurt all over, covering his chest and chin. Simon pumped him – his hand over Kieren’s – until the climax was over. Simon fell boneless next to his lover.

Breathless, chests heaving and hearts racing, the two sat on their backs under the starlit late-summer sky. Cum was dripping out of Kieren’s ass, and he whimpered at the loss. Simon hovered over him for a moment before catching Kieren’s lips in a sloppy kiss. Then his lips slipped over Kieren’s jaw and collar-bones and torso, shamelessly licking the skin and cum like it was his life’s duty. On Simon’s lips, Kieren tasted extremely good - so sweet and sticky and nice. He moaned with every swallow, while Kieren sat boneless under him breathing heavily. Simon ended his passionate licking with a hot sticky kiss, then fell down back next to Kieren, panting. When he caught his breath, Kieren burst in a wild fit of laughter. His laughter was so contagious that in his state, Simon started laughing too.

When they stopped, Simon asked: “What was that about?” He watched Kieren with his blue loving eyes.

Kieren laughed a little again. “You. Me? I don’t know.” He chuckled. “I waited for this for so long.”

“And-?” Simon pushed. “How was it?” He brought a finger over the sensitive hickeys, circling around it sensually. “How was _I?_ ”

Kieren chuckled. “Ah, you proved yourself to be really terrible at this from the very beginning.” He joked.

“Yeah?” Simon threw him the most adorable sturgeon face. “Okay.”

“Yeah, you with your huge cock-” Simon chuckled. “-and that incredibly skilled tongue of yours…” Then Kieren almost-yelled: “And it was perfect!” They laughed. Sticky and hot, Kieren cuddled at Simon’s side, his head under his lover’s head. He kissed the blue-eyed man’s chest, his hand playing mindlessly with his nipple. “And this…” Kieren continued. He felt so sleepy now.

“What?” Simon asked – his hand caressing Kieren’s back adoringly.

Kieren chuckled again. “We just had sex for the first time – the very first time both of us felt it, I mean – on a beach.” He answered; nuzzling his head in Simon’s body. They started laughing again.

Eventually Simon convinced Kieren to get up and get dressed. “Kier, we need to get back to the house.” Simon said softly, kissing his lover’s head. “It’s getting colder.”

“Nngh- no.” Kieren nuzzled further into Simon’s body, more asleep than awake.

“Okay.” Simon chuckled. He loved to see Kieren like this – all soft and adorable. “At least get dressed? We’ll take a nap here. Okay?” He asked, slightly shaking Kieren’s lean body.

“Yeah.” Kieren agreed in the end. He got up on his feet – his eyes still closed. He put on his clothes fast then he sunk back into the towel-covered soft sand. He was asleep before Simon joined him.

Kieren’s face was peaceful and innocent, every muscle relaxed, his cheeks red, lips swollen from all the kisses and his hair ruffled. Under the silver rays of the full moon he looked surreal. Simon stretched a hand over Kieren’s cheek – like he made sure he was still real – caressing it softly. Then he tenderly removed all the hair from his face and forehead. A warm wave crossed Simon’s body, hitting his heart and surrounding it with fluttery feelings. He kissed Kieren’s forehead – his lips barely grazing the skin – then laid next to him. He closed his heavy eyes and soon sleep washed over him. Everything was so peaceful.

Half asleep he muttered: “I love you.” and in response Kieren cuddled in his side – still asleep. Cuddled with the love of his live under the star-lit night sky, he was soon carried away to the land of dreams – filled with hot ‘ _innocent’_ dreams about blond, dominant, adorable, sassy Kieren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *heavily quoting Chuck* "Endings are hard. ((no pun intended)) It's all supposed to add up to something", to answer some big significant question… but then kinky gay sex arrives and saves the day. Also Simon singing cheesy love songs to his boyfriend gives me so many feels. :3 Soooo this is it, guys. Leave a comment if you feel like? I just hope you enjoyed this story. I sure did love writing it. <3


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